What day is it?

The presidential race of 2008 has been the hot topic of politics for what feels like forever now (in fact I remember talking about it/praying for it to arrive quickly after the announcement of GW's re-election in 2004). The Democratic race has boiled down to three main contenders and if you can't name them I refuse to help you. The Republican side doesn't seem to have a strong front runner but that could just be because I pay less attention to them (that is of course except when one still refuses to even admit that global warming exists - what world are they living on?!*)

It's so much a part of our daily news and lives that honestly I've stopped paying much attention. I know that Iowa is the place to be if you want to find a politician, I know that primaries that used to be in late winter/early spring are now on the cusp of the new year and I know that there are still 11 months of this crap to put up with. So it is with a sigh and a laugh that I bring you this article, in which the democrats prove to us that it doesn't matter how much political clout, money or brain power you have in your camp, it all boils down to the $9/hour fact checkers.

*The quote this is from is a March 2007 interview in which Thompson seems to think that it's funny to try out a theory that it's a solar system wide problem instead our own fucking degradation to this planet.

Just a quick post holiday update

It's my first day back in the office after an extended holiday weekend and since it's a short week (two days only for me) and most of my coworkers are out lets just be honest with each other and understand I'm not doing much today in regards to actual work. Now I have checked my personal email that went ignored for 5 days, updated my Facebook status, and caught up on my book blog. I also read up on my favorite blogs, sent some information to a cousin that might be crashing at my house this weekend, and dealt with a random cryptic text message from a man that lives in anther time zone, literally, figuratively and any other "ally" you can throw in there to make sure it's understood that the situation is totally fucked up. I also earned 15 cents in a long forgotten mturk account and now find myself staring aimlessly at the blank wall in front of me.... and there is still 2 hours to go till I can legitimately walk out the door, so what better to do than blog!



My holidays were actually quite wonderful this year. I saw almost all the people I wanted to, avoided the one I didn't want to see (tactfully and guilt free!) and had a delightful time visiting with Zappa and Juneau. The big family gathering that took place on Christmas Day initially had me dreading Tuesday afternoon yet turned out to be quite fun. I scored cookware for my new apartment (though have not yet found the ability or knowledge of how to actually cook), a new larger Sigg water bottle, and a host of new books from my mom. The Nintendo DS gift from the brother and I went over well. At first I could tell she was apprehensive ("You got me a Gameboy???") but as soon as the New York Times Crossword puzzle went in it was all over. She even took it with to the family gathering and I caught her with it open every time she found herself alone for 2 minutes (which with a group of over 25 is tough to do, I'm impressed she managed to find time to play at all).



I was able to ring in a belated Solstice celebration Saturday night with a dear friend and overall think that the weekend was quite nice (though the snowstorm back home could of waited a few days). Everyone around me is/was sick but so far I've held out, cross your fingers for me that I haven't just totally jinxed it.



Now back in the windy city, I am settled into a dog sitting gig that will run through new years eve and then it's off to 2008! No plans as of yet, but I think I'm okay with that....I'll let you know if any neurotic activities start to appear closer to the calendar turnover, but I don't think they will. I hope all my readers (what is there...3 or 4 of you? :) had a wonderful holiday whatever they may have been celebrating - I hope the consumerism of the season skipped by your homes and instead they were filled with love, companionship, good food and great memories.

Book Update

It's been awhile since I've updated the side bar with what I'm reading - I haven't stopped reading, I've just stopped updating. I hope to get better at that in the new year, but for now I will try and reach back into my memory for a quick summary of what I've had my nose buried in for the past few weeks.....
I finished off the Fable series by Bill Willingham, well caught up might be the more appropriate word. So far nine volumes have been bound and I read through all those, now I either have to go out and buy single issues (not ready for that level of geekdom quite yet) or wait till May when another volume is released....yeah I'm opting for waiting. As for a review, I enjoyed it though the story starts to wander somewhere around volume 6 or so and I was worried it wouldn't get back on track. It will be interesting to see where they go with the main stories, and I'm glad Bigby was brought back in and they found a way to get around that whole exile thing.

My mother sent me both Terror Dream: Fear and Fantasy in post 9/11 America and Backlash by Susan Faludi. I've finished Terror and it's fantastic. Initially I had no interest in another analysis of post 9-11 America, but Faludi's take on it is engaging, educating, and interesting. The ties she makes into our history are well done and helps make the book more interesting than a lot of others I've come across trying to dissect the events of that day. If you know anyone who needs a good feministy read - this is a great one.

Right before Thanksgiving I read through the whole Belgariad and Mallorean series by David Eddings (and I might have already blogged about it...). These are old favorites of mine, I've read through each five book sets 3 or 4 times each. My whole family are fans, it's a fall back book for each of us. When I went home for the turkey day weekend I snagged the Polgara and Belgarath books from my mom's shelves and finished those up shortly after the long weekend. A re-read on those as well, they are still delightful.

From the library I read Mr. Pip on my mom's suggestion. It was an intriguing book, starts calm and peaceful and then enter stage left some pretty violent actions, but since it doesn't destroy the meaning of the book I'm leaving it on my recommend list.

I feel like there should be more but without being at home in front of my stacks of books it's hard to say. I'm reading two books right now. First, Watchmen. Another graphic novel and a phenomenal one at that. Written by Alan Moore, who is a genius, it's a comic that is still relevant 20 years after it was first brought to life. Second is Lovely in Her Bones, by Sharyn McCrumb - a christmas present from my mother. I'm 64 pages in (it's only 220 all together) and so far I'm enjoying it. I've read other stuff of hers and enjoyed it so I'm expecting to enjoy this one as well.

Quick Links

I don't have time for a full post, and I don't even have time to finish this article! but the intro is so fantastic I just have to link to it so I can come back and read it later.
Cheers!

Small surprises

As many of you know I have been unhappy with my job for awhile now. The job, plus my unease of staying in Chicago for another year, and my slow hibernation process as winter sets in combined to make me a relatively depressed person as of late. Deep down I knew this, but I was unaware it was showing on the outside as well. This past Friday I was delightfully shown this fact.

I went out to what I thought was a quick Friday after work happy hour with one coworker and ended up at a "Yay Jessica" party. It was fantastic, overwhelming, and amazingly heartwarming. Two other coworkers joined us to make a party of four and they presented me with a card and a surprisingly large gift to my favorite book store. The card, signed by one more coworker that couldn't make it to bring the total to 4 that cared about me, was filled with encouraging and supportive statements (which I had to read at home because as I knew it would it brought me to tears). It was a humbling experience to say the least. I had no idea that this group of women, who for the most part I usually just thought of as coworkers, noticed this much about me, cared this much about me, and went out of their way to make sure I knew it. I learned that night that I am not the only one who feels the slings and arrows of upper management, I am not the only one overwhelmed at times by the odds against me, and I am not the only one struggling these days. The most important thing I learned is that I am not alone. There is no way to properly thank them, to express truly and fully how amazing and perfectly timed that night out was, though I will do my best to try. It's amazing what 2 hours out with a group of friends can do to revitalize ones spirit. I am truly thankful for them.

Friday afternoons

4:08 pm on a Friday in my office. All around me lights are off, offices are dark as people slowly slip out to the weekend. For those that are still technically "on the clock" some are on extended, late lunch/errand hours, others quietly close their doors and I hear the whoosh of the compressed air can as they kill time by cleaning out their keyboards. Others gather on opposite sides of the offices, with their laughter clearly identifying them as not working (no non-profit work is that entertaining!) ringing around the empty corridors. Some of us blog about random nothingness trying to coast away the last few moments till a buttoned up coat and hat are justifiable.

4:13 on a Friday afternoon and phones are picked up to make calls to loved ones, finalizing last minute weekend plans, comparing shopping lists and the amazing finds they've found. The laughter from the other side of the office still rings through every now and then. It's an oddly balanced group that is one person away from being tipped into guilt and back into work. Bloggers are still blogging with nothing still to say. Soon I will head into my email to check it one more time (hotmail that is, not my work one), take a swing through Facebook to see if anyone has updated their status message to something entertaining, and glance at the online cover of the Tribune to make sure Chicago hasn't burned down while I was daydreaming.

4:23 time to start the pack up and head out motions....have a great weekend!

Plans shmans

Wednesday Night Plan:

• Stop at grocery store after work and pick up orange juice, soy milk and something I can make enough of for dinner to take for lunch tomorrow as leftovers.
• Continue to clean/unpack/organize apartment.
• Read library book so I can finish it on time.

Wednesday Night Reality:

• Stopped at spa by new apartment and got a manicure.
• Made popcorn for dinner.
• Watched ANTM.
• Will probably watch either Private Practice repeat, Ronin, or play Gladius.

Video of the Day

Banned books, kids movies that get the religious right all pissed off - these are things that entertain me throughout the day. So now I have the joy of bringing you this video - a banned Durex commercial....Enjoy!

Video of the Day (link)

From the folks that brought you the Llama song - It's the End of the World!

Winter hath come to the midwest

Or more accurately, the snow has begun. It started Saturday when every weather report and scrolling news bar highlighted the Winter Weather Advisory!! If I hadn't spent almost three decades in the Midwest I would of thought we were on the verge of the apocalypse. I did manage to raise my blinds at one point around 2 in the afternoon and it seemed quite lovely from my third story apartment. It was not doomsday at all, but that may have something to do with my location of delightfully planted on my couch, under my quilt and with my x-box controller firmly lodged in my hand as I played Gladius all afternoon.
Then came Tuesday with a forecast of a 24 hour snow storm leaving 4-6 inches in its wake. Again there was a forecasted bleak rush hour home, and again I found my trek to be not that bad. I woke up Wednesday to my first real snow of the season.
Wednesday at 7 am the world was still glistening. Most of the sidewalks hadn't been cleared yet, but the bonus of Chicago's usually annoying one way system is it allows you to walk down the center of a road to avoid snow clogged walkways. The world around me was white and mysteriously silent as snow seems to dampen sound, and my hat was only slightly wet as I trudged onto the El at 7:15.
By noon when I had to forage out for lunch, the snow was still coming. Whipping furiously through downtown's pathways my black wool coat was sufficiently white by the time I got back with my take out from two blocks away.
But by 2:00 pm my Google homepage told me the snow had stopped and my quick afternoon break confirmed that the sun truly was shining, though not for long as sunset today was 4:20 pm.
5:30 rolled around and I got off the El for my 4 block trek home. Now the sidewalks that had never been shoveled were packed and uneven. The ones that had at least been cleared at one point had a slushy layer from the hours after the morning shoveler had come through. Main roadways were clear, but the side streets were still a mess. Everything had a layer of gray over it and ominous puddles lurked at every corner. With the sun gone and the wind picking up my face was frozen within moments and even the parts of me covered by clothing were numb within two blocks. I am officially done with winter.

If I had a million dollars....

Well, $10,000 is actually all I'd need, plus probably 3-4K for extras....

Two reasons Australia is cooler than America

I'm sure there are many reasons why Australia beats out America in everything except alphabetizing races but here are my two for today.

1) John and Rob live there....boo, I miss them.
2) They understand that global warming is not a made up word.

Tis the Season...

....that all the cool toys come out to play. As a closet geek, I love this stuff and while Christmas and I aren't exactly on speaking terms most years, I am secretly excited to see the new techno toys that will be bombarding us. First up is Kindle from Amazon. I haven't looked too much into it (it's still $400 and bound to be bug filled) but first got wind of it through Gaiman's blog (November 20th entry). Opening general gist - it's a portable, reloadable, downloadable book. Which means I'm probably gonna love it. Though there is no way to infuse the plastic with the smell of an actual book (which is one of my most favorite smells), I hope I know someone that gets one so I can play with it.

Today I came across a random "What to buy the techno geek in your life" list that are always so popular at this time of year. This list ranged from $100 - $140,000 so I guess it's something for everyone. My favorites were the $7500 digital, personal soda/booze fountain, and the magic card that allows me to download pics from my camera to the net wirelessly whenever I walk by a wi-fi spot (which I think I should of known about before now, I guess I just haven't paid that much attention to my own camera).

Also intriguing was the Les Paul Robot Guitar. I know the name Les Paul, I dated the "guitar ex" for long enough to know that one, but that is about the extent of it. I defer to all my more well versed musicians out there to tell me if this thing is neat or just a sham to allow unknowledgeable impostors behind the curtain, cause if that's the case I take back my support.

And finally, the be all end all toy that if I had $300, to casually throw away that is, cause I might have $300 if I thought about it but it should probably go towards student loan payments (wow, I digress), I would have to have. First of all because I would use it not only on airplanes but on the El. And secondly because the two paragraph promo references X-Men, so you know the product has to be cool. No hints, check out the link and see for yourselves. Ah, the joys of the holiday seasons!

200

I'm not unpacked. There are random papers on every flat surface of my apartment. I still am not sure where the rest of my checks are once this pack runs out. But today I crossed a milestone that makes none of that matter. I am officially at over 200 books in my online catalog.

Giving Thanks

I'm headed out for the long weekend for some good old R&R back home in my moms house. I probably won't get a chance to get to a computer so I'll do my What I'm Thankful For List right now....
Friends who live in Chicago with family in Madison that I can rideshare with
Hedgehogs under my desk
Finding a last minute video game downtown
4 day weekends
Having almost all my family all in one place, and not living in that place
Internet access at work
A job that pays enough to eat, live, and have a few drinks now and then
Growing up enough to become friends with my brother
Not growing up too much that I don't still love a good comic book
Having friends that live all over the world (though I do miss them very much most of the time)
Growing up as a reader
Having a mother who I'm actually friends with
Last minute mani's and pedi's for the hell of it
A gigantic bed (after sleeping on a twin for a year, a queen feels as big as an ocean)
Heat when I can find it (or make it on my own)
Earth, Air, and Water
Friends with dogs that I can visit
Only having 2 hours of work left!
Cheers and happy thanksgiving to all those out there that stumble upon this!

Humor leads to a better day...that and it's now the weekend for me.

Totally stolen from my friends blog. To see the full version go to his webpage, it's fantastic. And thanks to all the well wishers today after yesterday's gloomy post. There is hope outside these walls after all, thanks for the reminder.

527 Days

One year, five months, twelve days. This is how long it took for me to find myself leaning against the stall door of my work bathrooms crying into my sweater. One year, five months, twelve days.

Sometimes the blog is just not on your side

I had a really good post, okay maybe not really good but I was happy with it. It was all about how I went and bought a bed this weekend, and how it really is a symbolization of how I have made a commitment to Chicago and to living a life here, letting go of ideals and notions that were unrealistic, and how I managed to talk a sales guy down an extra $100. Then I did something weird and it all disappeared. So I am not going to try and recreate those sentences, I've tried that in the past and I just get frustrated when I don't come up with the same quirky twists and original plays on words.

Instead let me clarify that just because someone works at the bottom of the ladder does not mean that they enjoy being treated like they are standing at the bottom of a ladder, being used as a stepping stone for all those around them. It's frustrating, it hurts, and it makes the bottom rung want to go find a new ladder.

It's cryptic but it helps me vent.
That's all.

Ah, to be 19 again

I managed to completely regress and act like a 19 year old this weekend. It was not a planned trip back to 1999, and I didn't dress appropriately for travel, but I ended up there none the less. Friday night I drank more than I should have and finally confronted a nagging question I had regarding a possible romantic interest. While I did learn that the door was shut, and it was shut in a nice and non accusatory way, I still feel silly for not realizing the door wasn't open earlier, and I have made further shopping excursions for my favorite addiction potentially embarrassing.

Then on Saturday I decided that one night of drunken revelry was not enough and got even more intoxicated at a bowling alley during a double birthday celebration....and really what else is there to do at a bowling alley? After having a ridiculously too fun time bowling in my sneakers with a group of people I barely know (being surrounded by folks you don't have a high potential for running into again breaks down and often obliterates the ability to think rationally about ones actions....that and 4 glasses of gin helps) I found myself in the delightfully risque position of pressed up against the outside wall under the lips of the little brother of one of the actual honorees of the party (lucky for me it was not the little brother of the honoree who I know and consider a friend, that would of been entirely inappropriate). A whirlwind of encounters happened in which everyone left, I lost the boy (whose name, much to my friends delight, completely escapes me) and then wandered home in a gin soaked haze. I did manage to only walk down one wrong alley before I found my apartment (hey I just moved, give me a break!) and slipped into a dreamless slumber.

So here it is Monday morning. I have seen some of the birthday pictures, and feel pretty justified in saying that they should never, ever be posted anywhere and I need to invest in t-shirts that fit. I checked in with the friend, who assures me that she is not mad at me, and thinks the whole situation is actually quite funny and is enjoying laughing at me as I wander by hoping she will tell me the name of my Saturday night suitor (which so far she has not!). Apparently I had some lingering youth issues that I needed to exorcise this weekend, hopefully that has taken care of it and I can go back to floating through life somewhere in my late 20's where I belong.

October Books

I feel like October was a slow month for reading, though when I look back it seems there were at least 10 so I guess that's not too bad (though three are graphic novels, so do those count?)
Here they are -
Daughter of Fortune; Isabel Allende; Oct. 2007 - Sometime in the past year I read Portrait in Sepia by Allende in which the same characters are involved just later in their lives. I didn't know this when I started, but figured it out quickly enough. I really enjoy Allende's writing, though at times I get lost in the names and relations of everyone.
Fables Vol. 3: Storybook Love; Bill Willingham; Oct. 2007 - Storyline is still fantastic, along with great art and witty commentary throughout.
Fables Vol. 2: Animal Farm; Bill Willingham; Oct. 2007 - Storyline gets more in depth, the introduction of the characters that had to be dealt with in Vol. 1 is less so you can get more into it.
Brilliance of the Moon; Lian Hearn; Oct. 2007 - Book 3 of the Nightingale series.
Grass for His Pillow; Lian Hearn; Oct. 2007 - Book 2 of the Nightingale series.
Across the Nightingale Floor; Lian Hearn; Oct. 2007 - Was given to me by my stepmom for my birthday. It's a great story set in feudal Japan (not great with history so not sure if that is the right terminology). Adventure, intrigue, some love thrown in, all the elements you need.
Fables Vol. 1: Legends in Exile; Bill Willingham - Recommended by both my father and the bookstore comic book guy for when I finished the Sandman series. Basically any fairy tale/fable that you have ever heard of (and some you haven't) are living in present day NY. It's great, the art is fantastic with all kinds of little hidden (and sometimes not so hidden) details that keep your eyes on the page after the text is done. My favorite part is the high level of snarkiness from the characters.
Death - The Time of Your Life; Neil Gaiman; Oct. 2007 - Another spin off from the Sandman series.
Outlander; Diana Gabaldon; Oct. 2007 - Given to me by my stepmom for the birthday. It's advertised as a romance, and at times it gets a little graphic and intimate but in the end it boils down to a great fantasy story (fantasy as in magic not fantasy as in porn).
The Tale of One Bad Rat; Bryan Talbot; Oct. 2007 - Given to me by my father for my birthday. Now that he knows I'm back into comics I think that will be the center of the majority of our interactions. He described it to me as the book that comic book readers gave to their friends to show that comics could and are more than just guys in tights and capes. It's gritty, heartbreaking, and deals with some pretty serious shit. It was amazing. Anyone that works with kids or teenagers who have dealt with abuse might want to take a look to use it as a ice breaking tool.
The Grey King; Susan Cooper; Oct. 2007 - I think this was the last book from the Dark is Rising series I tore through last month. I lost interest by the end as it is YA reading level. To be honest, I feel like I read it so long ago I don't remember much about it. Guess I should start writing the mini reviews when I finish instead of waiting to the end of the month.

English does not equal American

Two posts in one day, yikes! Just couldn't let this one slip by without throwing my two cents in... Now I love me some tattoos, have three of them myself and am working to eventually get more if I can rake up the cash and find a new Chicago based artist (spending 4 hours on a bus with a fresh tat does not sound pleasant to me at all). Personally, branding is taking it a step too far for my own tastes, but I have always been a to each his own kinda gal. But I am getting ahead of myself and digressing from my original reason for the double post. Let me set the stage for you.

Months ago I was introduced to a website called Fark - it's basically an aggregate of entertaining headlines and note worthy news from around the world. I check it out every couple of days, though sometimes the fark intro is better than the actual article. It keeps me up to date, provides me with entertaining retelling opportunities at the bar/coffee shops, and often makes me shake my head in disbelief at what is considered acceptable writing and grammar from our journalistic friends (and before you comment on my grammar fuck ups - I'm a blog, I'm usually sneaking these in at work, and I'm allowed to suck now and then).

So today, I'm cruising through the headlines list and saw this, listed under "stupid" and I couldn't resist...

Old and busted: tattoos. New hotness among idiots: branding.
""It was an incredible experience. There was smoke coming out of my arm and my
burnt flesh smelled like a cross between chicken and bacon"

Anything with "Bacon" in the title will get my attention. The link takes me to an article from the Daily Mail, which happens to be a UK publication (knowledge which I gathered by the web address ending in .co.uk and prices in the article having the funny little euro symbol instead of the $). The article goes on to say that branding is becoming more and more popular as a form of expression now that tattoos and piercings are becoming more commonplace. Not a big deal, pretty much what I was expecting from the lead in. But then I start to read the comments and come across this -

"I thought I seen it all with the tattoos and body piercings. We as a country
must have gone off on the deep end." (Emphasis all mine)

My problem with this comment? The guy is from Casper fucking Wyoming - which means (unless there is a Casper, WY in England) this guy is writing from the good old U.S. of A.

So basically what we seem to have is 1) a European article, 2) regarding a European trend (which may or may not be happening here in the states), and 3) an American commenter automatically assuming it's all about him. I love that the Internet has opened up an eight lane super highway of information, readily available to everyone/anyone (ie those with money and time but that's a post for another day), but apparently I need to point out that just because something is written in English, does not mean it originates from America.

Home?

Last night when I went to bed, I turned off all my lights and shut the door. This might not seem very out of the ordinary for most people, but for me it was the first time since June 2006 that I had more than one light to turn off and a door to actually shut. I am officially moved into my new one bedroom apartment. It has 3 closets, 4 doors, 5 rooms, and 11 windows. It's fantastic. It's also messy, completely disorienting and utterly too quiet, but all those things will either get fixed or I will get used to. I've already hit up my new favorite grocery store and taken down an 8 oz. container of their wonderful guacamole. Unpacking is taking a little longer than I thought, I did manage to get (in the following order) enough bathroom stuff to shower and brush my teeth, my movies and most of my books out and shelved. The next few weeks will be consumed with unpacking, sorting and filling in the holes left by studio living. I think I might be quite happy in this new space...but only time will tell.

I think I can, I think I can, I think I can....

As the temperature falls, and the leaves change color, the fall/winter season is settling down amongst us. Everywhere around me people are picking out pumpkins and filling baskets with apples, stocking up on wood for winter fires, and basically drifting down into hibernation season. Unfortunately for me it means moving season. Luckily the lease I am signing is going to run to the end of August 2008 so I can get off the winter moving cycle but for now, I am currently in a third floor walk up and am moving to another third floor walk up just a bit down the road.

I got really energized about 3 weeks ago and started packing up all the easy things to pack like books and movies. Once those were done I hit a brick wall and have spent the past week just staring around at my apartment wondering how I accumulated this much junk. As of Tuesday however, I could put if off no longer. The lease was officially signed, the keys handed over and my new life in a one bedroom apartment began. With this new life beckoning I again got energized and decided to start my move. With a rented car and a few hours to kill before a friend got off work to help I started the laborious process of moving the books. Impressively, I got 9 boxes out of my apartment and into the car. The reverse was not as impressive, after 7 boxes I decided that quitting and eating was a whole lot smarter than trying to continue and possibly killing myself. So quit I did, and went to get food and reinforcements in the form of a friend who was silly enough to offer to help with this process.

Once I was fed and had the friend in tow, we headed back to Apartment #1 and reloaded the rental car (a prius by the way, which is just fun to drive). Another half dozen trips or so down the stairs and we were ready to head to the new place. With his help, I got everything out of the car this time and was feeling pretty accomplished as I dropped him off, ready to go right back at it the next day. This is the point where the fantasy crumbled.

I got back to my apartment only to realize that it looked as though I had done nothing. All those trips (with some rough math I think I did about 120 flights of stairs Tuesday night - 60 up and 60 down) and I still had a studio apartment full of crap. Dejected, but still ready to try again, I crawled into bed and went to sleep. Then Wednesday morning came and with it came the leg cramps from hell. I am about as far away from "in-shape" as Bush is from being a good President. I didn't stretch (who stretches for moving?), I didn't plan (Jeans are what I always wear post 5 o'clock) and I didn't take a hot bath when I was done (but the bed was so warm and comfy).

Wednesday was supposed to include two more helpers - a good friend and her boyfriend - with the move so that some of the bigger furniture could go. Turns out there was some miscommunication (they thought I would be closer to done than I was), a lack of sleep on the part of the new movers, and a shortened visiting schedule (it's a long distance relationship), so I insisted they skip out and stay home. This left me with dependable friend from last night and another chance to clear out some stuff. So I rented a car and headed over to pick him up again (another prius, this one with a camera for when you reverse!) .

However, by 6:30 Wednesday evening, I knew it was worthless. Though he assured me that once I got some of the bigger pieces moved it would look like I was making progress, I was too dejected to try again. So instead, I offered him the options of A) moving more crap or B) going to Target (Hey, I had the car already rented). Like a good friend, he chose Target.

So now it's Thursday. I haven't moved anything since Tuesday, but I got in an epsom salt bath last night and have 3 bags of Halloween candy to keep my energy up tonight! And though my legs are still killing, I know that I have to try again or this is never going to get done. And tonight is the only night I know for sure I will have a second set of hands to help. So, like the little engine that could, I will just keep on keeping on. The plan is to rent the SUV that is near my house, and get the wicker hutch thingy and at least one bookshelf over to the new place (and with any luck the rest of the boxes that are packed will go to). Cross your fingers and wish me luck (or just send over boys in their 20's who are bored and looking to do a good deed :)

In the midst of

I'm in the midst of reading two books at the moment while waiting for my next two graphic novels in the Fable series to come in, yes I am a dork, I know. First is Animal, Vegetable, Miracle by Barbara Kingsolver. It's the true story of how her and her family took themselves off the commercial food grid for a year. It's amazing, disturbing and enlightening. It makes you want to eat locally and organically, but it also makes me realize that with absolutely no cooking skills whatsoever, it will be a difficult task for me. I need to find a boy that cooks.

Second is Final Exits by Michael Largo. I found it on Bookcellar's website and it is fantastic. Basically it is an encyclopedia of the ways in which we die. And it's illustrated. I just finished Apple Cider (182,904 E. coli deaths since 1930, and in 1996, E. coli from unpasteurized apple cider killed 34 people), next up is Appliances.

I also just rediscovered the joy of Green Day's music. Old school style with the Dookie album. So far Sassafras Roots is my favorite.

Just a few bits of news to get that song out of your head

A day on the front page of the Chicago Tribune tells me this about the world....We are still senselessly killing each other and ourselves. Just when you thought that stupidity and hate were reserved for those obviously less educated then yourself, life smacks you in this face with this guy (complete with disturbing quotes, though the one about not reading the Bible might have some weight to it). A smoking ban I'm actually okay with since it makes sense and I don't spend a lot of time at the beach - my only question is can I get busted walking down the sidewalk next to a park? Cause that would suck. And the article that will hopefully keep a smile on my face for the rest of the day. Now I can stop the internal debate over the ethics of stealing (thanks Will!) and just get my Stewart for free.

It's 3 AM I must be lonely

It's 3 AM, Saturday morning. No, I did not just get home from some raging, Friday night shindig. I was, in fact, home by 8:45 and in bed at 10:00. I was woken up at 2 by my neighbor coming home and again at 3 when my neighbor kicked out a guy from his apartment. By all understanding of the conversation through the wall, I think my neighbor had a homeless guy over for after bar drinks....and, while said homeless man cannot stay tonight, he is welcome back on Sunday...

Oh, and the Unknown phone calls started again. And now I have Matchbox 20 stuck in my head. That's all. Good night.

It's all about the G Man

I have long predicted that some day Google will take over the world - even though it still shows up with the little red squiggly line in my spell check. The top two stories this morning in the online edition of the Chicago Tribune just give us more evidence in that direction.

First up is how pissed off the American right is about Google's random doodles on its homepage. I guess it's a slow day at church. Second, Chicago has become the next city on Google's all seeing mapability list. It's simultaneously intriguing and creepy. I can see the front door (and alley) of my work...I'm just waiting for one of the pics to bust me smoking.

If we continue to cut, we will eventually disappear

If you know me you know that I don't want kids. But you also know that I have the utmost respect for women that do. It's a hard and often thankless job. You bust your ass to create, breathe life into, and then raise the next generation and our society does very little to celebrate you, help you, or honor you. One day a year and 12 weeks maternity leave dedicated to mothers is not nearly enough to show the women out there who bear children that we love, respect, and are dedicated to them.

Child bearing is just about as natural a part of life as you can get. Women have been going through it for centuries of centuries, in what we would now consider unsafe and unhygienic situations. But you know what - they did it anyway, and some of those babies must of made it, because we are all here today as proof of their successes.

My body as a woman has the parts within to create and sustain life. From the age of 11 to whenever I cycle through menopause, as far as I know I will be able to bring about a child (given the necessary male contribution of course). My body will change, adapt, grow, shrink, swell and manipulate itself all to house a new life. And while I hope never to actually experience it, I think it's pretty damn amazing.

So it is with great sorrow and sadness for our culture that I read this article in the New York Times yesterday. We have created an economically profitable position in our society that revolves around making sure women are "feeling self-conscious or resentful about their appearance" post pregnancy. High end parenting magazines are running articles that describe "postpregnancy breasts as “the ultimate indignity”" All in an effort to promote the "Mommy Makeover". The cosmetic surgery industry is surging in post delivery liposuction, breast augmentations, and tummy tucks. Congratulations America, we have successfully disgraced and shunned the post pregnancy body. The same body that without its scientific, life giving processes we would not be here today.

This phenomena upsets me greatly. There is no stone unturned when it comes to attacking the female form. So far we have convinced ourselves that we are too fat, our breasts are never large enough, the laugh lines around our eyes and mouths indicating a lively life are now banished from sight. Mothers are paying for their teenagers nips and tucks. There is no stage, not maiden, mother or crone, that is safe from the prying eyes and scalpels of American ideas of beauty and happiness. And now, one of the oldest rituals and experiences of the female form - childbirth - has fallen under the knife. How do we survive in a world like this?

Zones

A couple of weeks ago, maybe even a month or so, a friend pointed out to me a new tag showing up around Lincoln Square. On every parking meter we saw were these bright yellow stickers that said "Zone 6" on them...after lengthy debate that most certainly centered around fantastic German beer from our neighborhood Hutenbar, we decided they couldn't possibly be tags, no tagger has that much patience or predictability. These stickers were methodically placed everywhere and were conventionally stuck at perfectly straight angles. I wondered if it was some new kind of parking system they would eventually introduce. But by the time our beers were done I had pretty much moved the idea and the ponderment to the back of my brain where I store most of my random, useless data.



Fast forward to today. I got off the train and saw all along Wabash Ave. little blue stickers! These were not just on the parking meters (for downtown they have the parking station, not the individual meters) but on the street signs as well. These, just like my little yellow friends up north, were the same size and font but said "Zone 1" instead. For some reason my last DC trip popped into my brain where the taxi system works on zones for the figuring of fares....way to many f's in that one.... So now I'm wondering if Chicago is trying to institute the same method? Will our transportation now be dependant on zones instead of distance? Am I just totally making all this shit up? Anyone in the Chicago area, or who has more time than me to surf the wide Internet world and figure it out for me, let me know what the new "Zones" are all about.

September Books

Well it looks like I'm reading way too much to keep all the books on my new side link list so instead at the end of each month I will move them to a post and clear the list. Here are the books I've read, September 2007. 15 in all, about one every two to three days is what it breaks down to. Now, some are short - kids books even, so obviously those only took mere moments.

Inside Mrs. B's Classroom, Leslie Baldacci - I was warned that this was not very good, and to be honest I was disappointed with it. The chapters feel more like elongated newspaper articles, there is little connection between them and no in depth reflection. A good friend however just started teaching the same demographic, age and subject, so it was entertaining to read stories that were almost perfect reflections of conversations we have had since the school year started.
The Grey King, Susan Cooper - September 2007 - Book 4 of the Dark is Rising series, still good, but I'm starting to lose any deep interest. Glad there is only one book left, I think I'm ready to be done. Also, the movie previews for The Seeker (based on this series, opening in a week) look nothing like what I've read, so I don't think I will be racing out to see it (also it is made by the same folks that made Bride to Terabithia which I refused to see after a lifelong love affair with the Katherine Patterson book.)
To Kill a Mockingbird, Harper Lee - September 2007 - My fall back book. The one I read when I need something good, comforting, and reliable. I have read this probably over half a dozen times since I was 13. I love it and it had been a few years since I had picked it up. My trusty copy is miles away in a basement with the rest of my possessions (patiently waiting for me to have space to reclaim them) so I bought a new copy from my favorite bookstore and delved into again. I loved it all over again.
Greenwitch, Susan Cooper - September 2007 - Book 3 of the Dark is Rising series. Short, glad it only cost $6.
Over Sea Under Stone, Susan Cooper - September 2007 - Book one of the Dark is Rising series. My brother recommended them so I thought I'd check it out, he usually has good recommendations. The story is good, easy to read since it's a young adult reading level, and intriguing. As I will find out, the books are pretty self contained which I like, I don't feel like I immediately have to pick up the next one from fear of losing the story.
The Dark is Rising, Susan Cooper - September 2007 - Book two of The Dark is Rising series. New characters, builds up the plot some more.
The Day I Swapped My Dad for Two Goldfish - Neil Gaiman - September 2007 - Absolutely fabulous. Gaiman teams up with artist Dave McKean, who is magical, to create a fantastic story that everyone should read, especially if you have two kids close in age.
Animal Farm, George Orwell - September 2007 - Finally got around to reading the high school classic. Mostly it makes me want to brush up on my Russian history, but overall I really enjoyed it. Definitely one I will reread as the years go by.
Saving Fish from Drowning, Amy Tan - September 2007 - My mom got it for me for my birthday. It is somewhat of a ritual that she gives me books (most that turn out to be ones I love) for my birthday and Christmas. This year she was on a two week trip to Italy (a surprise from my brother for her birthday) and was more than a little worn out when my day rolled around (nine days after her) at the last minute coming home she realized in the Newark airport that she had to get me a book, so she picked this up. It was good, even more timely now that Myanmar is all over the news.
Kite Runner, Khaled Hosseini - September 2007 -Oh dear god. I finally got around to reading this after countless recommendations and now I know why. I'll be honest, I broke down at least a half dozen times while reading this, had to set the book down I couldn't see through the tears. I even had to put it down just to process it sometimes, which hasn't happened in a while for me. Strangers approached me on the street to ask what I thought when they saw the title. It is amazing, and if you haven't read it, go to the library now and get it.
Stardust, Neil Gaiman - September 2007 - I saw the movie first and was hesitant to read the book right away. No hesitation needed. Read the book, see the movie, your life will be better for it.
Neverwhere, Neil Gaiman - September 2007 - On somewhat of a Gaiman kick this month, loved this like I love all his work, though American Gods is still my favorite novel.
The Wolves in the Walls, Neil Gaiman - September 2007 - The fantastic duo of Gaiman and McKean team up again for this wonderful children's book. There is actually a stage production going on right now for the month of October in New York, that I would give anything to be able to go see. If anyone who comes across this actually live in NY, please go see it and let me know how it is.
Death: The High Cost of Living, Neil Gaiman - September 2007 - a spin off from the highly acclaimed Sandman series. Death was one of my (and many others) favorite characters and this small but delightful set of stories was greatly appreciated as an Endless fan.
The Sandman: Endless Nights, Neil Gaiman - September 2007

From scary to heartwarming...it's the news of the day

Just a few news links to round out the day...
First - in league with my previous post about being able to be fired for smoking, it now turns out that I can be denied a home because of my appearance. At this point, I still qualify for housing in Texas, but some day (soon if I can ever get the money) I may cross over the line of acceptable tattooage.

Second - this one falls into the no fucking kidding section of news items. Looks like a year ago a small town in New Jersey decided they had had enough of all this immigration nonsense and passed a bunch of laws prohibiting the hiring or housing illegal immigrants. Shock and awe to everyone, the members of the town that fit into this category vacated leaving boarded up businesses and vacant properties up and down main street. Now the town is saying maybe we didn't think this thing through enough and is back peddling on its decision.
Most disturbing quote from the article? Former Mayor, Charles Hilton - “The business district is fairly vacant now, but it’s not the legitimate businesses that are gone,” he said. “It’s all the ones that were supporting the illegal immigrants, or, as I like to call them, the criminal aliens.”

And finally third - on a much happier note, a darling story out of Boston where one guy got really creative in a marriage proposal. I don't do crosswords, but if any guy I knew was smart enough to come up with this idea, he would definitely be worth something.

I F*$%ing Hate Crocs

No reason to not be up front about it, I hate those damn shoes. They're ugly, and personally I find them gross looking and not at all comfortable. I feel about Crocs the same way many of my fellow pedestrians feel about flip-flops, but that's another post for another time. My first warm fuzzy feeling of solidarity came when I found this website. By cruising through a friend of a friend of a coworkers blog (the 21st centuries version of my cousins - boyfriends - sisters - baby daddy's kind of thing) I came across it. I might have to order a shirt for me and maybe one for the brother.

Then this morning I was again smiled upon by the journalism Gods when I came across this article linking childhood obesity to the dreaded footwear. Now I understand (and the article does as well) that there are many, many factors that are leading our children, and our teenagers, and our adults....to dangerous levels of obesity, but I love that Crocs are now on the list of perpetrators. Many, just maybe, if we all join together we can get them to be banned by next summer so I never have to see them again.

So many books, so little time

I have added a feature on my layout to list the books that I read. I've been on a streak that is almost out of control, but since it's books and not alcohol or cocaine I figure it's okay. The first eight or so are Neil Gaiman (who is fantastic!) I'm almost through most of his stuff, so there should be some variation soon. All the links will take you to an Amazon page if you want more information, but if you decide to buy I recommend you support your local bookstore!

If I can't be myself after 5:00, then who will I be?

I have not read 1984 - I switched (and skipped) schools so much that it fell through the cracks as I grew up. I am trying to go back and catch up on books like this (I just read Animal Farm the other day) but alas 1984 is still on the "to read" list. After today, I think I should move it to the "reading" pile....

***I get that most of the people out there don't like cigarettes. Please give me at least enough respect to understand that I'm not a fucking moron. They kill, they smell, they can turn your walls (and fingers) a pretty nasty shade of yellow/brown. I get that they not only can kill me, they can kill all the doe eyed innocents around me. I've seen the marketing campaigns that want me to understand that if not for my filthiness the world would be a happy sunshine filled place, with bunnies and rainbows, and peace on earth. The truth ads and the dirty looks from strangers have combined productively within me to create a giant sense of guilt and shame whenever I smoke in public. Now granted, it's not enough shame to actually quit, but it is enough that I try and avoid crowds, children, animals, and people in general when I partake in my dirty little habit. I am not always successful, but damn it I try.

Then I get up, go to work, and read this. That it is becoming a reality within my lifetime that I can and will be fired (or simply not hired in the first place) for what I do after I punch out and go home. Today it's cigarettes, tomorrow will be Big Mac's, who knows what next week holds. How far can we crawl into each other's personal spaces before there is no room left between us? How long until there really is a big brother camera on every light pole and front porch? On every doorway looking in?

I think I am heading out now for a smoke - while I can.....

*** - In order to truly understand this rant, if you know me, please insert the dry sarcastic voice I use when knee deep in storytelling :)

Why can't they show me the shoes?

Warning - this post is a completely frivolous post, not too much content, just something that has been bugging me this week.

If you know me, you know that I am not living in the world of high fashion. I wear what is comfortable, on sale, and for the most part fits. I am slowly becoming more trendy as I spend more time living in the windy city (as my new desire for pedicures and hot pink Steve Madden heels proves) but for the most part it is a slow transition.

I work on the same block as an Anne Taylor Loft store. They have cute stuff, nice work appropriate clothing and sometimes some decent sales, so I have been known to stop in every now and then when I'm trying to expand my available work clothes. What's nice is in the store windows they have rows of mannequins with whole outfits put together. I dig this since my ability to put together a matching outfit is right up there with my ability to speak German - I can not fathom doing either. Sounds perfect right? Not quite. See, all the mannequins, in their great outfits, are always bare foot. They are never wearing shoes! Granted, shoes are not the main sales pitch of an Anne Taylor Loft store, but they do sell them. And personally, I need to see what shoes will go with that cute skirt/blazer outfit before I can buy it. Damn retail world.

I'm disgusted. I'm outraged. I'm dissapointed. I'm scared. I'm trying to find a way within myself to understand how these things still happen. I'm praying for the next generation to make it out alive through this fire we are continuously stoking. I want to stand on the street corner screaming at and shaking people as they walk by, trying to get them to pay attention. I want to get on a bus, march through unfamiliar streets, join together with other like minded souls out there to know that I am not alone in my anger. I want to sit quietly on curbs of places that spill over with their hate, showing my solidarity with those who do not hate. I want to never have to read something like this again.

The only time I will wish I was in small town Louisiana

I'll come back later (hopefully) and get more in...but here is the moronic statement of the day.
"Our town is not racist like this is being depicted. The nooses were just a joke."

What kind of fucking idiots are these people. I wish I was in the protest march right now, my thoughts and support go to those that went.

Not even done yet

Smoking is a double edged sword when it comes to interacting with strangers. Certain people will avoid me like the bubonic plague when I'm smoking outside, which to be quite honest is usually perfectly okay with me. For the most part I don't want to talk to people I don't know when trying to enjoy a cigarette, hell I can barely keep up with the people I do know these days. However, smoking in public somehow opens the invisible door to my personal space to other smokers who feel they can ask me for a cigarette or a light.

The lighter thing I don't mind, it's the cigarette thing that usually gets to me. Cigarettes are expensive and they aren't getting cheaper any time soon (when I first started smoking I could get 2 packs with a $5 bill - and get change, now in Chicago I can get one pack with a $10 and get barely enough change to wash a load of clothes and forget about drying...) Usually I lie and give the "It's my only one" line when I am confronted by strangers requesting my property...it's a weird feeling, I feel guilty and accused at the same time, I feel I have to come up with an excuse when in reality it's my fucking stuff, I wouldn't give away anything else if randomly asked for it by a stranger. When is the last time you heard "Hey, that's a great shirt can I have it?" or " Can I get some of those fries?" between strangers on the street?

Anyway, my guilt and weirdness aside, I had a most unusual experience this morning. I get off the train a block before my work so that I can smoke one last time with the coffee I have bought at the beginning of my trip and now is cooled off enough to drink. While doing this daily ritual this morning I was approached by a man who asked not if he could get a light (okay), or a smoke (sorry, only one left) but if he could get my short. For you non-smokers they may be reading this, a "short" is when you stub out a cigarette part way through so that you can finish it later, it is the tail end and, though this is of no concern to this post, they reek of something awfully foul (I imagine it smells to me like smoke smells to non-smokers).

This guy, who I do not know and do not wish to know (especially at 7:45 in the morning when I am barely awake as it is) was basically asking me for the cigarette I was currently smoking. This was a new one for me and I was astounded by it - it takes a lot of balls (or something) to ask somebody for something they are in the process of using regardless of its content. I told him no, that I was planning on finishing my own cigarette and walked off.

I heard him ask another women I passed the same thing (I believe she gave some version of the "It's my only one" spiel) and then he sort of followed me - waiting for me to toss it or just stalking me I don't know. I stopped a little bit before the corner and he stopped right next to me, commenting that I could continue to tease him and about how he didn't even know me....All too much for me, I started walking again towards my work with him constantly in my periphery. I walked up to the McD's next door where they have an ashtray and stubbed out what was left (which was not enough to smoke anyway) and snuck in my door. It was not a pleasant way to start the day.

A little Tuesday News

There is a gruesome and sad story unfolding just over the border of my fair city in the depths of hell known as Gary, Indiana. The story goes like this....car with four black teenage boys crashes early Saturday morning, two manage to crawl out and tell the cops that respond that two more are still in the ravine. Cops do nothing. Story gets out that cops ignored two survivors, uncle of one of the victims goes to crash site the next day and finds his dead nephew in less than 5 minutes. Cops still make no statement. Monday cops release statement that boys were drunk, they were not coherent and that they did look for the other two but found nothing at the scene. Coroners report comes out that the other two died instantly.

I was not there so I don't know if the cops looked for the other two. I don't know the state of the two that crawled out of the ravine. What I do know is that the overall feel from the reporting is that Gary is sticking with the statement that it does not matter what the cops did that night since the boys were dead anyway. This is what disturbs me. Statements like this...

• "I'm telling [the officer] about my injuries and my two friends and the accident, and he tells me to sit on the curb,"
• But Gary Police Chief Thomas Houston pointed out that no matter how fast the department's response had been, neither Green nor Smith could have been saved.
• "Law enforcement did not cause this accident and these deaths,"

Law enforcement might not have caused the death but they sure as hell didn't do a damn thing to prevent them either. The family of at least one of the boys is reported to have an independent autopsy done. I will be interested to see the results of it.

In more worldly news, it looks like Iraq is threatening to kick out all the Blackwater guards running rampant in their country. A friend and I had a conversation about it last night with the final thought being they will probably just reincorporate, rename themselves, and saunter right back in....So readers here is a poll for you - what do you think the new name will be?

Delivery part 2

Didn't realize yesterday that this would be a two part post....Remember the UPS story from yesterday? (If not scroll down and read Delivery). Well turns out I stayed home sick today and around 10:30 my doorbell rings. I ask who it is, knowing it is UPS, and get the forecasted answer. I buzz him in and wait...I make sure that the PJ's I am wearing are suitable for answering the door in....they are...I wait some more...Finally, wondering if I let in someone elses UPS guy (or a psycho killer) I throw jeans on and head downstairs just in time to see the UPS truck pulling away from the light at my corner.
What the fuck? No package in the lobby, none on the stairs. So I head back up and just for curiosity poke my head around the corner on the second floor (I live on the third floor)....Yup, there at the exact apartment below mine is a UPS package leaning up against the door. I creep up to it (though why I am creeping in the middle of the day I am not sure) and pick it up. The box is a little tattered, but there it is - my name and my apartment number, which clearly states I live on the third floor not the second.
So I guess, according to the rules at UPS, if the package requires a signature you must first leave a note and the second day you must be buzzed in by the correct receiver and then leave it at the wrong door.

Cable

You know what sucks the most about not having cable? There is no place to hide when George WhatTheFuckWasThisCountryThinking Bush decides to address the nation.

Delivery

I'm sick so don't have a lot of energy to post, but had to put this down before I head back to bed. I think it is highly entertaining (and just a little fucked up) that DHL delivery service is completely okay with leaving my $500+ worth of drugs (pre insurance that is, I only pay $120) on the floor of my lobby in front of my mail box, while UPS leaves me a note that my $30 worth of books from Barnes and Noble can't be delivered without a signature. They will be trying again tomorrow - good thing I'm taking a sick day.

Boston

Hello again my random readers. Sorry for the absence, I went out of town for the long holiday weekend - actually extended it by a day on each end so it was especially long for me. There is a bunch of news going on in the world around me, but this is mostly a personal update post, it's just too nice outside to dwell on the bottom feeding politicians out there today.

Around Labor Day each year I start to get antsy. Something about the end of summer, school starting, and my recently passed birthday makes me want to leave wherever I am and go explore. Last year I went to DC and had a marvelous time hanging out with my brother (and met a marvelous man, but that is a post for another day). This year I decided to mix it up a bit and do a traveling vacation.

I flew into DC late Thursday night and hung out with my brother all that night and Friday. It was actually nice to see him, his girlfriend (who I like) had to work all weekend so it was just the two of us, which it hasn't been since he started seeing her. Saturday I jumped on an Amtrak train and headed up to Boston to spend the rest of my weekend in bean town. I flew home out of Boston on Tuesday afternoon.

I took the trip for all the usual reasons one takes a trip. But I also took it for another reason, one that for cathartic reasons I will share here. From previous posts you know that my birthday just passed. When it did I took a long look in the mirror and thought about a lot of things regarding my life and the path that I seem to be on. Don't worry, it wasn't one of those melodramatic, poor me, will I always be alone, where is my life going kind of looks. But I did need to get realistic about some decisions that I have made.

I don't want kids. I never have, and I doubt I ever will. My own mother thinks I shouldn't have kids. It drives me crazy when people say that I just need more time, or I will change my mind when I meet the right guy, or when they presume I am a lesbian! I'm okay with the fact that I don't want kids. I understand that it is not the usual life path for most women but that it does not make me less of a woman for choosing it. But I also understand that by choosing this path I restrict my options for future partners. I have purposely chosen to fish in a much smaller pond, and this was something that turning 27 made me face head on. I am not in a relationship, serious or any other kind, and I needed to know if I could do this for the unforeseeable future. While those around me settled into routines, partnerships, houses, and kid care would I be able to walk with my head high through it all?

So I went to Boston. By myself, with no plan, no partner, no friends. I went to see if I could vacation alone and enjoy myself. Because I can face the possibility of being alone but I could not face being alone and not able to travel.

Well, it turns out I had a good time on my trip. It got lonely at times, and it sucks not being able to leave my purse at a table when I use the restroom at a restaurant, but overall I think I did really well. Next time I head to Massachusetts (and I will, because there is so much more to explore) I might plan a bit more. Create a list or two of things I would like to do. But now I know plan or no plan, I can do it and I will do it for as long as life takes me.

I faced my fears and I won which might have been the best birthday present ever. Oh, and the pic is from the Public Gardens, it's the Make Way for Ducklings statues - even though I don't want kids, doesn't mean I can't enjoy their part in this world!

Trusting Person

I am a relatively trusting individual...okay maybe not, but I have gotten out of the habit of double checking my order every time I get food to go. This past week however has taught me (twice!) to stop having faith in the food industry.

Episode I: Sunday evening, tired from a fun day outdoors in the beautiful weather, I stopped at the Daily for a burger. I placed my order with the friendly bartender (one I hadn't seen before) of a medium bacon cheeseburger with cheddar cheese and tater tots as my side (the ability to order tater tots as a side is one of the main reasons I frequent the Daily so much, that and it's two blocks down the street helps). He repeats my order to me and punches it into the computer. He even brings me a glass of water as I wait (with no request from me). The familiar site of a plastic bag tied up around the take out Styrofoam container shows up and he repeats my order again - burger, medium, cheddar, bacon, tater tots. Yup, I say, smile and head out the door. I get home and open my box of deliciousness to find a bacon cheeseburger and fries?! I am not a huge fan of fries (especially take out, since they get soggy pretty quick) but it's not worth hauling my ass back down to the bar so I dig into my burger instead. It might have been the rarest piece of meat I had ever eaten. Now I can dig a rare steak, but this was hamburger and there is nothing so unappealing as a cold, slightly gummy (as rare cow can get) burger. At this point I'm too tired and bummed out about my food to go back, so I just eat around the part still mooing in the center and nibble at a few of the less clammy fries.

Episode II: Wednesday morning, running late (my theme for this summer) I stop at the Dunkin Donuts in my El station. I get my standard coffee (medium with cream and sugar) and a plain cinnamon raisin bagel. Toss the bagel in my bag and head off to work. About two hours later I pull out the bagel, ready to eat and find that instead of a plain bagel I have a plain bagel, sliced and smothered in a mountain of plain cream cheese. Normally I like cream cheese, but I wasn't expecting it, and after two hours the bagel looked as though it had gotten sort of soggy (which is less than appealing). So I ended up chucking it in the trash and going to the DD by my work to try again.

Frustrating! But I guess now I know to double check all my food.

Post Script - When will I learn?! Episode III: Went to Cosi on Michigan for lunch and got a salad to go. Continued my walk south on Michigan to just next to the Art Institute where there is a nice, shaded fountain area. Opened bag...no fork.

Straight Men

About 90 percent of my good friends here in the Windy City (and across the country for that matter) are in some stage of a relationship. Some in the brand new, lovey-smiley phase, some in the first few years of marriage, and others in the long term-kids-house part. Because of this, and other random factors (such as I am not a huge drinker, I don't have a lot of extra spending money, and I am still working on going out alone at night in the city) I don't spend a lot of time in loud, smoky, Friday/Saturday night bars trying to pick up random objects of the opposite sex. Which is why last Saturday night's exploration into the late night city scene was hugely entertaining for me.


I celebrated my birthday this year by having a fantastic weekend full of events. To start it off there was a large tapas dinner that was loads of fun. Lots of food and even more sangria made the night highly entertaining. As dinner was winding down the group split into those that had to head home and those that felt up to a little more festivities. As I was knee deep in fuzzy sangria land I went along for the festivities ride with no idea where we were headed. A few of the more sober patriots of our entourage (mostly my designated driver and the other person who had lived here more than one year) packed us into the car and headed up to Delilahs. As we headed up to the door and I saw the row of young, posturing, single men I could barely contain my excitement.

Somehow we managed to snag a table near the back, we found a girl who had a whole table to herself and my more vocal party members asked if we could sit there. She happily obliged, and it turns out she was new to the city, out for the night and had no problem with us crashing her table. I stood with my back to the throngs of people pushing past to get to the bathrooms and the bar and proceeded to spend the rest of the evening jamming out and pseudo dancing (this is where one dances in a bar that is not specifically designed for dancing but plays decent enough music that anyone with any sort of rhythm can't help but at least bounce along). It was jukebox night, which meant we were up for anything, but it settled into a decent routine of 2-3 random punk type songs with a good jumpy beat and then some old school funk classics mixed in.

It was standing such as this, with my gin and sangria filled hips shaking along that I re-discovered what it was like to be in a bar on Saturday night. I was quickly able to tell who was behind me by the way they indicated their presence. Girls, when trying to squeeze behind other girls (this all presumes heterosexuality by the way) will lightly place their hand on your back. Kind of that "Hey, I'm back here, please don't step on me suddenly" gesture. Guys on the other hand, will slide their arm/hand around your waist to show you they are entering your personal space. At no point in time did I feel creeped out by this, in fact it was probably wise that they alerted me to their presence otherwise my gin filled dancing moves might have wrecked havoc on them. Instead I found highly entertaining. After months of spending my free time in either coffee shops or gay bars, it was fun to get back into the heterosexual Saturday night dating scene while safely ensconced in my group of friends who would make sure I didn't end up on top of the bar, making out with strangers (which has happened in various points in my life). While I would still rather meet a guy reading with a latte in my lap, I have to admit it was a great way to celebrate the next year of my life.

Customer Service?

2 months ago I decided that I should have a back up battery for my digital camera. Too often I have had to shut down my camera to save the battery life and only take a few pictures of an event - no more for me!

So I went down the street to my local Ritz camera store and they were nice and helpful. They did not have my battery in stock so they had to special order it, and while it would take a ridiculously long time to come in, I wouldn't have to pay extra for the special order, so I was pretty much a satisfied customer.

Fast forward a few weeks when I get a phone call saying "Hey, you're battery is in, come on down and pick it up" Wow, I think, that was quick, but hey I'm no complainer! So I head on down and even comment to the guy that I thought it would take a lot longer, don't really remember if he acknowledged/replied but I left feeling everything was fine with the shipping box shoved in my messenger bag.

10 days or so later, box still on my floor as I haven't had to use it yet and I have forgotten to open it, and I get another call from Ritz camera saying my battery is in...um....I already have my battery, so as a concerned customer, I ignore the message (this same nightmare happened when I set up my Internet with one hand not talking to the other so I figured it was something on their end).

2 days ago I open the box in preparation for my upcoming Labor day weekend trip out to the east coast. My camera is an Olympus. The battery was Fuji. The name on the packing slip - Beverly. My name, not Beverly.

So today, on my lunch hour, I go back to Ritz and explain that 2 months ago they sold me a battery, I picked up what they said was my battery, and when I opened the box (granted it was two months later, but that is my prerogative), it turned out to not be my battery. The customer service response? Went something like this.....

Me: See I should have an Olympus battery and this is a Fuji...and this is not me on the slip, you gave me the wrong battery
Clerk (in a tone like I stole something): Ah yes, the other customer came in later and was very upset that her battery wasn't here.
Me: Well, you guys are the ones that gave me the wrong one, and I've been gone and just got back (tiny white lie) and have discovered this error, so I need to exchange this.
Clerk: Luckily we were able to get her the battery she needed.

During all this he is rooting around under the counter trying to find my original purchase....I wait awkwardly, feeling as though I have committed the ultimate crime of sneaking in and switching purchases in order to ruin this guy's day and some poor hapless Fuji camera owner....finally he emerges.

Clerk: Here you go.
Me: Thanks - yep this looks more like the battery that fits in my camera.
Clerk: Lucky you didn't need the extra before now.
Me: Yeah, good it worked out that way.
I exit the store.

Am I wrong to be upset that there was no attempt made by the salesperson to offer me an apology for them fucking this up? They didn't call when Fuji woman came in and they figured out that this had happened. I got no message saying "Hey - we gave you the wrong thing, Come Back!" No, instead I am rudely admonished for not opening my purchase sooner and coming back and fixing their clerks mistake. I think I am done with Ritz, unless my readers can give me a logical argument of why I was in the wrong.

Happy Birthday to Me!

So today is my birthday, woo hoo I am three cubed! (Come on, that's just fun and you know it). I want to share the story of how my day started.

I woke up late and ended up scrambling out the door around 7:30. As I burst through the inside door of my "lobby" I saw that the outside door was covered with bright pink sheets of paper all saying the same thing "Jessica is 27" with a hand drawn picture of what I can only assume to be me, smiling on it, in the unmistakable penmanship of my dear friend L. Also tied to my door was a helium Happy Birthday balloon. I immediately burst out laughing and was still doing so as I took down the papers and unwrapped the balloon from the handle. In front of my door in chalk was also a birthday message. It was a great way to start the day....but it gets better.



As I headed out with my balloon in tow I saw down the street a handful of more bright pink pieces of paper, again all with the same message, taped to trees, poles, even the cell phone store window. And there were more chalk statements down the sidewalk, all positive and encouraging. Laughing even harder now, I headed off down the street and turned on to Western where I almost fell over. You guessed it, all the way down to the train station - more pink papers and more birthday messages. It was awesome! At the door to the El stop was my final message, "Have a great day at work", and you know what, I am!

Lunch Hour

My partner in crime at work is out for the morning so I was forced to fend for myself during lunch. I headed down to Corner Bakery for my usual ham and swiss panini - I am horribly unoriginal with food once I find something I like. I decided to shake it up a little (small steps) and get the half sandwich half cup of soup -> Wednesday - Sunday is baked potato which might be one of my favorite types of soup.

Turns out there was a terrorist sabotage attack on Corner Bakery's cup supply and most of the customers walked away with leaking sodas (damn those terrorists!). I was one of the chosen few who had a perfectly fine cup (I think I might sell it on eBay later) so was entertained throughout my meal watching group after group get downstairs only to realize their diet cokes were leaking all over their "I'm on vacation from the burbs" outfits.

Eventually a manager type guy started making rounds in the basement dining area asking how everyones food was and offering up replacement cups to anyone who hadn't trotted back upstairs for a new one already. At this point I have realized that while my coke is happily staying inside my cup, I think there might be lettuce mixed in with my green onions on the top of my soup. As he heads toward me with that look of "how are you doing today" inquiry plastered across his face, I debated whether or not to point out this obvious mixing of vegetables. But as he hit my table, smiled and joked with me about my souvenir cup I lost the nerve, figuring the more vegetable life in my diet the better.

Done with my meal, I headed up and out to hide under the awning from the sprinkles of rain that were dusting the Chicago streets while I smoked my after dinner cigarette. To me this act is almost up there with ritual, and I enjoy it immensely. As I tried to cup my burning ember away from the crowd and kept my respectable distance from the revolving door (Hey I may be a smoker but I am not a total asshole) I watched as the same manager type guy had to head out and extricate a homeless man from their outdoor seating. I overheard the manager call the homeless man "buddy", doubting that in any universe, simulated or not, those two would ever be "buddies".

With the rain stopped and my cigarette done, I headed back to the office. Dealt with two groups of people walking the wrong way on the sidewalk*. They must be from Europe. And headed into Staples were I bought 3 bottles of Elmer's glue, 3 boxes of 24 count crayons, and 4 folders. Do I need these things? No. But when you can buy 12 oz. of glue, 72 crayons, and 8 places to hold paper with a single dollar and get 45 cents back, it's a crime not to.

*There are certain rules when one decides to present themselves in public. One is that you walk on the right side of the sidewalk (as opposed to left) this way traffic can flow smoothly much like on the roads. Second is that when on an escalator - standers stand on the right so walkers can pass on the left, again much like driving. It is on my list of great annoyances when others in the world do not recognize these rules.

Links Galore

I started keeping a running draft of articles that I came across that intrigued me, figuring that at some point I would do more in depth posts about each...yeah that ain't gonna happen. So instead, because they really should be shared with the world, I will do a quick summary and let you read the rest....

In an attempt to thwart the bureaucracy that is the New Zealand government, a couple is doing an end run in naming their baby. When The Man shot down their attempts to name their baby "4Real" they decided to be tricky and choose "Superman" (but will be calling the baby 4Real to its face). Yes, this is a legitimate story. And yes, I am making just about as much fun as I can of it....4 Real!

I don't drink a lot of milk so I was in the dark that there is a clandestine milk market out there. I think my favorite part was the quote about the Amish supplying the black market in NY and Boston.

According to the New York Times layout guy, women ordering meat on their dates is considered "Fashion and Style" (and of course I am thrilled that I finally have permission to order what I want when dating - ugh)


Why does this never happen to me? I think it's time to start putting aside the books, knick-knacks, and old clothes that I'm trying to hawk online and move on to good old saintly images - $1500 bucks for a grease stain? Sold!


And in case you missed out on getting the son of god to show up on your garage floor - you can always get good old dad to show up in your vegetable drawer


Some kid is getting killed in Texas because of a law that says because he was in the car when someone else got out (with no warning to the rest of the vehicle) and shot someone he can be held accountable - this is my WTF for the day. It's a short article so if anyone has any more information I would gladly take it (I have to work at some point in the day)



Anyone have $208 they want to just randomly give me? It could be a lot of fun!




Oh dear god. Why do they let these people run the world? With weapons?

And as a follow up to the camo bible link (the one right above) today's Chicago Tribune was kind enough to have this story on the cover of their Metro section.*** Some asshole has started the new sport of extreme aerial bowfishing. Yes, that's right, they go out in boats, and shoot big fucking arrows at fish that jump from the tremors from their motorboats. And as an extra special bonus, the online article comes with video, now I am work so can't watch it, but I started it and the first two seconds show a girl in a bikini on a towel and a guy holding a bottle of Bud Light. I think I have to go throw up now.

Cheers, enjoy the links and have a great day!

***Update - my apologies for the corrections I need to make about this article. One, it was actually the cover of Tempo, not Metro. And two, the Bud Light and bikini girl was a commercial before the story not part of the actual story. Still, it's fucked up and weird

What did Canada do?

Here is an extra special, extra Monday post...I had lunch at McDonalds today (no, that is not the extra special post, it's just the setup) and because it's McD's and there is nothing else to do (burgers are way to messy/greasy to try and read while eating) I read the back of the receipt. It appears that the company was having (like most companies these days) a survey that would enter you into a drawing for weekly prizes. In the fine print however it says this...

"Open only to legal residents of the US and Canada (other than the Province of Quebec), 15 years of age and older. In order to win, a Canadian resident must correctly answer a skill testing question"(emphasis theirs)

So my question is what did Canada (and specifically Quebec) do to get the all powerful Golden Arch's to require them to test in order to participate?

Brand Specific

After 15 years (give or take) of increasing purchasing power - though lately it feels like it is decreasing with Chicago rent and ridiculous ComEd bills ($60 for a month in a studio!) - I have come to discover that there are three types of purchases that I make. The first are the products where I am brand loyal, I always buy the same brand regardless of price. Somehow through advertising or personal taste I have a select list of things that generics or substitutes will not do (such as M&M's - the generic version is just downright wrong). Second are the products that I will rotate brand but will stay in the name brand category. Laundry detergent, shampoo, face wash, ice cream, etc. These are things that I am not too particular about, but advertising has convinced me that I have to use something with a little shelf recognition. Finally, there are the products that I could care less about their ad campaigns and buy purely based on price. Milk, any kind of noodles, body wash, gas (when I owned a car), etc.

Over the years these preferences have changed. Laundry detergent for example - for years I was strictly a Tide girl. Then I moved from a basement apartment with laundry right around the corner from my living room, to an elevator building, to a third floor walk up. I now am a huge fan of All - simply because they make a "small and mighty" version that uses less and therefore weighs a whole lot less in my up and down treks on laundry day. And recently I moved from the devout brand loyal category of smoker to the smoker whore category.

For those of you that know me personally I have smoked Marlboro reds for years. In the beginning I switched back and forth between menthol and non menthol, had a short stint as a Camel convert (the pressure's of ex-boyfriends!) and around the age when it finally became legal for me to smoke I settled into my reds. I smoked them for two reasons. One, I thoroughly enjoyed them and two, they scared the shit out of others. I know that is a lame reason to smoke but it was awfully fun. To be a girl, 5'6", 130 lbs (give or take), and to smoke such a "bad ass" cigarette lent me some kind of weird toughness. It was great to be at a bar and have some weekend smoking frat boy try and bum one from me. They would recoil in fear as I pulled out my full flavored treats and quickly changed their minds, taking their annoyingly popped collars somewhere else. And this was just fine with me. I was a tried and true believer (even through two bouts of pneumonia and whooping cough) and everyone who knew me figured I would smoke them forever.

So you ask, how did I go from a modern day poster girl for the Marlboro company, to a smoking whore? Three things happened simultaneously that stripped away my red loyalty. One - I discovered that I was flat out broke. Two - I decided that I would attempt a budget to get myself out of brokeness. Three - a whole bunch of Camel coupons showed up at my house when I was out of smokes. Cigarettes are expensive in Chicago (around $8 a pack downtown, $7.50 up in the hood) and here I was holding a handful of $3.00 off and buy one get one free coupons. So I tried some of the new Camel brands. First up was the Camel No. 9. These won me over with their black packaging and hot pink trim. They boil down to a light cigarette, but the package was fun. After 10 days or so of this, I ran out of coupons and tried to go back to my familiar friend Red. They kicked my ass. It was like they knew I had stepped out on them and were not ready to take me back. By the end of the pack it was not so harsh, but I knew that my decade long relationship with the one brand was done. I have since moved on to try many of the new Camel "signature" line. Their advertising and random coupons in the mail have won me over to the dark side. I have at long last moved into my second category of purchasing. I still have not broken down and bought the cheapest, brandless cigarettes, but I have become a smoking whore - whatever(brand name) is on sale or I have coupons for will be what is in my bag until the foreseeable future.