I am officially within the 6 month window of turning 30 (insert some kind of creepy music here) and can't quite figure out how I feel about that, but since it's within the 6 month mark I feel I can offically start talking about it. Or maybe I can't, but it's my blog, so...I can.
The first 30th birthday I celebrated was my brothers. On a tropical island. In February. How the hell do you top that? Since then, it's been a few each year that have tumbled over the edge into whatever the heck life holds when it starts with 3. Some say it's a big deal. Others barely notice the change. I go back and forth (on a weekly basis probably) whether I want to:
A) Have a crazy big party where I throw down $300-$500 on a bar tab and just invite everyone I've ever met to come have a drink with me.
B) Have a similiar event, though smaller, and with me not spending all that money.
C) Wrap up my life in Illinois and have a "Hello 30, GoodBye Chicago!" party in which I sell everything I own and move somewhere new.
I really can't decide.
I'm looking forward to being 30. There seems to be a manageable air about it that I currently am lacking that sounds pleasent. And I'm looking forward to wherever I celebrate making my friends listen to this (I have a better, longer version at home but this is what I could find on the internet on short notice)
Does any of this really matter yet? No. Will it ever matter? Probably not. Did I need to just post any damn thing to bump down that severly bitter and unhappy post previously at the top of the page? You betcha!
Showing posts with label birthday. Show all posts
Showing posts with label birthday. Show all posts
Monday, March 8, 2010
Wednesday, August 27, 2008
Belated Happy Birthday to Me
I love my friends. Not such a huge fan of UPS that took a 4 day delivery hiatus with my birthday flowers (they were set to arrive at my house on the actual day, last Friday, and I finally got them to work on Tuesday). Major props to 1-800-flowers for packaging them well enough that I wasn't greeted with a box of dead roses when they finally arrived. But mostly, love my friends. Thanks D.
Saturday, September 8, 2007
Boston
Hello again my random readers. Sorry for the absence, I went out of town for the long holiday weekend - actually extended it by a day on each end so it was especially long for me. There is a bunch of news going on in the world around me, but this is mostly a personal update post, it's just too nice outside to dwell on the bottom feeding politicians out there today.
Around Labor Day each year I start to get antsy. Something about the end of summer, school starting, and my recently passed birthday makes me want to leave wherever I am and go explore. Last year I went to DC and had a marvelous time hanging out with my brother (and met a marvelous man, but that is a post for another day). This year I decided to mix it up a bit and do a traveling vacation.
I flew into DC late Thursday night and hung out with my brother all that night and Friday. It was actually nice to see him, his girlfriend (who I like) had to work all weekend so it was just the two of us, which it hasn't been since he started seeing her. Saturday I jumped on an Amtrak train and headed up to Boston to spend the rest of my weekend in bean town. I flew home out of Boston on Tuesday afternoon.
I took the trip for all the usual reasons one takes a trip. But I also took it for another reason, one that for cathartic reasons I will share here. From previous posts you know that my birthday just passed. When it did I took a long look in the mirror and thought about a lot of things regarding my life and the path that I seem to be on. Don't worry, it wasn't one of those melodramatic, poor me, will I always be alone, where is my life going kind of looks. But I did need to get realistic about some decisions that I have made.
I don't want kids. I never have, and I doubt I ever will. My own mother thinks I shouldn't have kids. It drives me crazy when people say that I just need more time, or I will change my mind when I meet the right guy, or when they presume I am a lesbian! I'm okay with the fact that I don't want kids. I understand that it is not the usual life path for most women but that it does not make me less of a woman for choosing it. But I also understand that by choosing this path I restrict my options for future partners. I have purposely chosen to fish in a much smaller pond, and this was something that turning 27 made me face head on. I am not in a relationship, serious or any other kind, and I needed to know if I could do this for the unforeseeable future. While those around me settled into routines, partnerships, houses, and kid care would I be able to walk with my head high through it all?
So I went to Boston. By myself, with no plan, no partner, no friends. I went to see if I could vacation alone and enjoy myself. Because I can face the possibility of being alone but I could not face being alone and not able to travel.
Well, it turns out I had a good time on my trip. It got lonely at times, and it sucks not being able to leave my purse at a table when I use the restroom at a restaurant, but overall I think I did really well. Next time I head to Massachusetts (and I will, because there is so much more to explore) I might plan a bit more. Create a list or two of things I would like to do. But now I know plan or no plan, I can do it and I will do it for as long as life takes me.
I faced my fears and I won which might have been the best birthday present ever. Oh, and the pic is from the Public Gardens, it's the Make Way for Ducklings statues - even though I don't want kids, doesn't mean I can't enjoy their part in this world!
Tuesday, August 28, 2007
Straight Men
About 90 percent of my good friends here in the Windy City (and across the country for that matter) are in some stage of a relationship. Some in the brand new, lovey-smiley phase, some in the first few years of marriage, and others in the long term-kids-house part. Because of this, and other random factors (such as I am not a huge drinker, I don't have a lot of extra spending money, and I am still working on going out alone at night in the city) I don't spend a lot of time in loud, smoky, Friday/Saturday night bars trying to pick up random objects of the opposite sex. Which is why last Saturday night's exploration into the late night city scene was hugely entertaining for me.
I celebrated my birthday this year by having a fantastic weekend full of events. To start it off there was a large tapas dinner that was loads of fun. Lots of food and even more sangria made the night highly entertaining. As dinner was winding down the group split into those that had to head home and those that felt up to a little more festivities. As I was knee deep in fuzzy sangria land I went along for the festivities ride with no idea where we were headed. A few of the more sober patriots of our entourage (mostly my designated driver and the other person who had lived here more than one year) packed us into the car and headed up to Delilahs. As we headed up to the door and I saw the row of young, posturing, single men I could barely contain my excitement.
Somehow we managed to snag a table near the back, we found a girl who had a whole table to herself and my more vocal party members asked if we could sit there. She happily obliged, and it turns out she was new to the city, out for the night and had no problem with us crashing her table. I stood with my back to the throngs of people pushing past to get to the bathrooms and the bar and proceeded to spend the rest of the evening jamming out and pseudo dancing (this is where one dances in a bar that is not specifically designed for dancing but plays decent enough music that anyone with any sort of rhythm can't help but at least bounce along). It was jukebox night, which meant we were up for anything, but it settled into a decent routine of 2-3 random punk type songs with a good jumpy beat and then some old school funk classics mixed in.
It was standing such as this, with my gin and sangria filled hips shaking along that I re-discovered what it was like to be in a bar on Saturday night. I was quickly able to tell who was behind me by the way they indicated their presence. Girls, when trying to squeeze behind other girls (this all presumes heterosexuality by the way) will lightly place their hand on your back. Kind of that "Hey, I'm back here, please don't step on me suddenly" gesture. Guys on the other hand, will slide their arm/hand around your waist to show you they are entering your personal space. At no point in time did I feel creeped out by this, in fact it was probably wise that they alerted me to their presence otherwise my gin filled dancing moves might have wrecked havoc on them. Instead I found highly entertaining. After months of spending my free time in either coffee shops or gay bars, it was fun to get back into the heterosexual Saturday night dating scene while safely ensconced in my group of friends who would make sure I didn't end up on top of the bar, making out with strangers (which has happened in various points in my life). While I would still rather meet a guy reading with a latte in my lap, I have to admit it was a great way to celebrate the next year of my life.
I celebrated my birthday this year by having a fantastic weekend full of events. To start it off there was a large tapas dinner that was loads of fun. Lots of food and even more sangria made the night highly entertaining. As dinner was winding down the group split into those that had to head home and those that felt up to a little more festivities. As I was knee deep in fuzzy sangria land I went along for the festivities ride with no idea where we were headed. A few of the more sober patriots of our entourage (mostly my designated driver and the other person who had lived here more than one year) packed us into the car and headed up to Delilahs. As we headed up to the door and I saw the row of young, posturing, single men I could barely contain my excitement.
Somehow we managed to snag a table near the back, we found a girl who had a whole table to herself and my more vocal party members asked if we could sit there. She happily obliged, and it turns out she was new to the city, out for the night and had no problem with us crashing her table. I stood with my back to the throngs of people pushing past to get to the bathrooms and the bar and proceeded to spend the rest of the evening jamming out and pseudo dancing (this is where one dances in a bar that is not specifically designed for dancing but plays decent enough music that anyone with any sort of rhythm can't help but at least bounce along). It was jukebox night, which meant we were up for anything, but it settled into a decent routine of 2-3 random punk type songs with a good jumpy beat and then some old school funk classics mixed in.
It was standing such as this, with my gin and sangria filled hips shaking along that I re-discovered what it was like to be in a bar on Saturday night. I was quickly able to tell who was behind me by the way they indicated their presence. Girls, when trying to squeeze behind other girls (this all presumes heterosexuality by the way) will lightly place their hand on your back. Kind of that "Hey, I'm back here, please don't step on me suddenly" gesture. Guys on the other hand, will slide their arm/hand around your waist to show you they are entering your personal space. At no point in time did I feel creeped out by this, in fact it was probably wise that they alerted me to their presence otherwise my gin filled dancing moves might have wrecked havoc on them. Instead I found highly entertaining. After months of spending my free time in either coffee shops or gay bars, it was fun to get back into the heterosexual Saturday night dating scene while safely ensconced in my group of friends who would make sure I didn't end up on top of the bar, making out with strangers (which has happened in various points in my life). While I would still rather meet a guy reading with a latte in my lap, I have to admit it was a great way to celebrate the next year of my life.
Wednesday, August 22, 2007
Happy Birthday to Me!
So today is my birthday, woo hoo I am three cubed! (Come on, that's just fun and you know it). I want to share the story of how my day started.
I woke up late and ended up scrambling out the door around 7:30. As I burst through the inside door of my "lobby" I saw that the outside door was covered with bright pink sheets of paper all saying the same thing "Jessica is 27" with a hand drawn picture of what I can only assume to be me, smiling on it, in the unmistakable penmanship of my dear friend L. Also tied to my door was a helium Happy Birthday balloon. I immediately burst out laughing and was still doing so as I took down the papers and unwrapped the balloon from the handle. In front of my door in chalk was also a birthday message. It was a great way to start the day....but it gets better.
As I headed out with my balloon in tow I saw down the street a handful of more bright pink pieces of paper, again all with the same message, taped to trees, poles, even the cell phone store window. And there were more chalk statements down the sidewalk, all positive and encouraging. Laughing even harder now, I headed off down the street and turned on to Western where I almost fell over. You guessed it, all the way down to the train station - more pink papers and more birthday messages. It was awesome! At the door to the El stop was my final message, "Have a great day at work", and you know what, I am!
I woke up late and ended up scrambling out the door around 7:30. As I burst through the inside door of my "lobby" I saw that the outside door was covered with bright pink sheets of paper all saying the same thing "Jessica is 27" with a hand drawn picture of what I can only assume to be me, smiling on it, in the unmistakable penmanship of my dear friend L. Also tied to my door was a helium Happy Birthday balloon. I immediately burst out laughing and was still doing so as I took down the papers and unwrapped the balloon from the handle. In front of my door in chalk was also a birthday message. It was a great way to start the day....but it gets better.
As I headed out with my balloon in tow I saw down the street a handful of more bright pink pieces of paper, again all with the same message, taped to trees, poles, even the cell phone store window. And there were more chalk statements down the sidewalk, all positive and encouraging. Laughing even harder now, I headed off down the street and turned on to Western where I almost fell over. You guessed it, all the way down to the train station - more pink papers and more birthday messages. It was awesome! At the door to the El stop was my final message, "Have a great day at work", and you know what, I am!
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