Boston

Hello again my random readers. Sorry for the absence, I went out of town for the long holiday weekend - actually extended it by a day on each end so it was especially long for me. There is a bunch of news going on in the world around me, but this is mostly a personal update post, it's just too nice outside to dwell on the bottom feeding politicians out there today.

Around Labor Day each year I start to get antsy. Something about the end of summer, school starting, and my recently passed birthday makes me want to leave wherever I am and go explore. Last year I went to DC and had a marvelous time hanging out with my brother (and met a marvelous man, but that is a post for another day). This year I decided to mix it up a bit and do a traveling vacation.

I flew into DC late Thursday night and hung out with my brother all that night and Friday. It was actually nice to see him, his girlfriend (who I like) had to work all weekend so it was just the two of us, which it hasn't been since he started seeing her. Saturday I jumped on an Amtrak train and headed up to Boston to spend the rest of my weekend in bean town. I flew home out of Boston on Tuesday afternoon.

I took the trip for all the usual reasons one takes a trip. But I also took it for another reason, one that for cathartic reasons I will share here. From previous posts you know that my birthday just passed. When it did I took a long look in the mirror and thought about a lot of things regarding my life and the path that I seem to be on. Don't worry, it wasn't one of those melodramatic, poor me, will I always be alone, where is my life going kind of looks. But I did need to get realistic about some decisions that I have made.

I don't want kids. I never have, and I doubt I ever will. My own mother thinks I shouldn't have kids. It drives me crazy when people say that I just need more time, or I will change my mind when I meet the right guy, or when they presume I am a lesbian! I'm okay with the fact that I don't want kids. I understand that it is not the usual life path for most women but that it does not make me less of a woman for choosing it. But I also understand that by choosing this path I restrict my options for future partners. I have purposely chosen to fish in a much smaller pond, and this was something that turning 27 made me face head on. I am not in a relationship, serious or any other kind, and I needed to know if I could do this for the unforeseeable future. While those around me settled into routines, partnerships, houses, and kid care would I be able to walk with my head high through it all?

So I went to Boston. By myself, with no plan, no partner, no friends. I went to see if I could vacation alone and enjoy myself. Because I can face the possibility of being alone but I could not face being alone and not able to travel.

Well, it turns out I had a good time on my trip. It got lonely at times, and it sucks not being able to leave my purse at a table when I use the restroom at a restaurant, but overall I think I did really well. Next time I head to Massachusetts (and I will, because there is so much more to explore) I might plan a bit more. Create a list or two of things I would like to do. But now I know plan or no plan, I can do it and I will do it for as long as life takes me.

I faced my fears and I won which might have been the best birthday present ever. Oh, and the pic is from the Public Gardens, it's the Make Way for Ducklings statues - even though I don't want kids, doesn't mean I can't enjoy their part in this world!