If I can't be myself after 5:00, then who will I be?

I have not read 1984 - I switched (and skipped) schools so much that it fell through the cracks as I grew up. I am trying to go back and catch up on books like this (I just read Animal Farm the other day) but alas 1984 is still on the "to read" list. After today, I think I should move it to the "reading" pile....

***I get that most of the people out there don't like cigarettes. Please give me at least enough respect to understand that I'm not a fucking moron. They kill, they smell, they can turn your walls (and fingers) a pretty nasty shade of yellow/brown. I get that they not only can kill me, they can kill all the doe eyed innocents around me. I've seen the marketing campaigns that want me to understand that if not for my filthiness the world would be a happy sunshine filled place, with bunnies and rainbows, and peace on earth. The truth ads and the dirty looks from strangers have combined productively within me to create a giant sense of guilt and shame whenever I smoke in public. Now granted, it's not enough shame to actually quit, but it is enough that I try and avoid crowds, children, animals, and people in general when I partake in my dirty little habit. I am not always successful, but damn it I try.

Then I get up, go to work, and read this. That it is becoming a reality within my lifetime that I can and will be fired (or simply not hired in the first place) for what I do after I punch out and go home. Today it's cigarettes, tomorrow will be Big Mac's, who knows what next week holds. How far can we crawl into each other's personal spaces before there is no room left between us? How long until there really is a big brother camera on every light pole and front porch? On every doorway looking in?

I think I am heading out now for a smoke - while I can.....

*** - In order to truly understand this rant, if you know me, please insert the dry sarcastic voice I use when knee deep in storytelling :)