Cats vs. Dogs

I'm a dog person, specifically a big dog person. Now what the rest of you city dwelling folk seem to think of as "big", I usually classify as normal, but to each his own I suppose. There have been a few small dogs I've come across in life that have been cool enough to worm their way into my heart - Taz, Oz, and Mellie come to mind - but I normally don't think twice until your pup hits about 50 lbs. Some day when I'm all grown up with a yard and time to train them I will start with two dogs. The first will be a malamute and his name shall be Atticus. The second, possibly a german shepard (I'm still working out the details on that one), and his name shall be Hiro Protagonist. It will be awesome.

But while I find myself waiting for this grown up life to start, it somehow seems I have become a cat person. Not by choice mind you, well not animal choice that is. See I moved in with a boy that had a cat and with the fact that we are working opposite shifts, I seem to find myself quite often in the company of an orange, 23 lb. pain in the ass named Bill instead of my intended. And, oddly enough, I don't really mind (I mind not seeing the boy as much as I'd like, it's hanging with the cat I'm oddly finding myself okay with just to be clear here).

As the days get darker and the possibility of me getting home from work while there is still natural light in the sky becomes a fading reality, it's nice to walk into the empty house and have something alive and wanting my attention. The extra warmth I get from his constantly wanting to lay directly on my lap helps when your apartment doesn't have the best heating system in the world. He purrs like a diesel engine at times, and it's comforting on quiet nights to have something besides my own thoughts making noise.

But that doesn't mean that I've switched sides. I'm still a dog person, and am confused by cat actions. A few weeks ago when the boy was out of town for the night I woke up at 3 in the morning to Bill making a racket. Running around, mewling, just being a loud ass pain in general. My first thought? Someone is breaking in of course. Because when your dog gets up at 3 in the morning and starts making all kinds of noise it always means something is wrong. So of course I get up and go out, slowly, to see what's happening. Do I find an intruder? Do I find a sick cat in the middle of the floor? No I find Bill wanting to play. That's it, just play. Can you guess who went back to bed cursing up a storm? I'll give ya three guesses and the first two don't count.

And I don't think I'm a fan of all cats. Like my feelings towards kids, I reserve my fandom for a select few felines. I'm also not a fan of litter pebbles tracked all over my wood floors, a habit of walking on my head when the food dish is empty and I'm still sleeping, or having every item of clothing I own covered in orange tabby fur. And it doesn't help that he loves to sleep in the laundry basket. Ah well, this is my life. Internet world - meet Bill (by the way, as a point of reference that basket is large enough to hold about 2.5 loads of laundry.)

A Random List of Smoking Fun Facts

An essay off the top of my head on the inside world of being a smoker.

Random smoking fun fact #1: Smoking is a social bonding experience. Even more so since the country (and parts of the world) has become seriously anti-smoker. Over the past 20 years that I've been tarring up my lungs, I've seen the acceptance of my kind die a slow, legislative death. I'm too young to remember offices filled with smoke, but I do remember being able to smoke in the mall. That was probably the first to go. Next came the smoking sections of restaurants. And the final axe - the bars. Smokers now stand around and tell tales of back in the day when you used to be able to smoke in the X, Y or Z, kind of like when we were kids and we walked uphill to and from school in the snow 9 feet deep year round - that kind of thing.

Random Smoking Fun Fact #2: Smoking is a bumming culture. Somewhere along the line it became not just acceptable but expected to be able to constantly ask your friends to support your habit. And it's not just friends that you can ask. See a total stranger on the street smoking? Go ahead, walk right up and ask him/her if they have an "extra" cigarette they can give you. Trust me, to a true smoker, there is no such thing as "extra" cigarettes, yet still this language persists.

Random Smoking Fun Fact #3: I haven't done enough studies to know if this recent phenomena is city based or increased price based. Further studies (ie going home for longer times) will have to be done. Strangers will now ask you not just if you have an "extra" cigarette (see fun fact #2) but will ask you for the cigarette you are currently smoking. And somehow this is deemed permissible. Don't get why that's weird? Imagine sitting in a restaurant, having a nice enjoyable meal, and a total stranger walks up and says "Hey, that burger looks awesome, can I get a bite?" See the weirdness now?

Random Smoking Fun Fact #4: I've smoked for near on 20 years. I am also literate and watch the news from time to time. What does this mean to you, oh so considerate non-smoker? It means I know its not good for me. I know that it will most likely kill me at worst, and will most definitely make life more difficult at best. So I'm not quite sure why you think that looking me in the eyes and having that serious, heartfelt, "I care about you and your health, and I really wish you wouldn't smoke" lecture is going to make a damn bit of difference. Especially if we don't really know each other, like say you are a random co-worker or a friend of a friend of a friend whose name I will never remember but that doesn't matter since I won't be seeing you again. Also, please do not be so misguided that you think you are the first person to have this little sit down with me. And unless I become a rampantly successful Internet writer and become a total recluse (and have my cigarettes shipped to me), you won't be the last. Sorry if I don't give you the half an hour you want of my time, and sorry you won't be the magic person that makes me see the light and turn my life around. If you are really insistent about teaching me the woes of smoking please feel free to get in line. I'm sure I'll get to you before my smoking kills me.

Random Smoking Fun Fact #5: Cigarettes are expensive. I know this, it's my wallet that opens daily to shell out the $9 (damn you Chicago tax system, damn you!) to my local dealer. And like the days of yore when we smoked everywhere, any smoker worth his salt will be happy to tell you how much cigarettes cost when they started. It's like the price of milk, or gas, it's something we hold onto as we yearn for better days. Point in fact, when I started I could get 2 packs and change from a $5. Not anymore my friend, not anymore.

And there you have 5 random smoking facts from the brain of a smoker. Did you need to know these things? Probably not. Did I have a fun time writing again and sharing my random thoughts? Hell yes. And isn't that what a blog is all about?

Time Warp

What I hope is the very last installment of

A View from my Office

A little background information to set the scene... Part of my job has been to work with and staff our board of directors. It's not always fun but some of been some really amazing women so its been worthwhile. And while I understand that I know them better than they know me, there are 2 memories that are my favorite that sum up so much of what the work is like.

1) A past board member insisted on calling me Jennifer all day at an event, while I was wearing a name tag that clearly did not say Jennifer

2) I received an envelope that I had created and sent out which was pre-addressed to me with one of the letters in my last name crossed out and changed. Because ya know, after 30 years I'm still having trouble with all those M's and N's.

Which brings us to the final tale....

Today marks the day that I will send out my very last Board mailing. A Board mailing, for those not in this particular position, is what my organization sends each month before a Board meeting and contains all the hand outs, agenda, etc. A standard part of each mailing is the memo. This is where the Executive Director creates a letter that talks about what the meeting will be about and provides any short, necessary updates.

In today's memo there was a paragraph at the very end announcing my imminent departure. Excited to see what not just my boss, but THE boss, of our tiny little world would have to say about me and my dedication since that fateful summer in 2006 when I joined up with the gang, I eagerly read through it.

There it is...thanks for my outstanding service...aw, that's nice...for the past...wait, what...THREE YEARS.

Yup. After four years with this organization I have been kindly thanked for my three years of service. That boys and girls, is the sound of the bell indicating this game is officially over.

Are We Really Surprised?

So in case you've been living under a rock in Chicago these past few days, I'm sure you've heard about our good king Daley retiring. Or more specifically, simply choosing not to run again. The way the news sites and social networks were ablaze yesterday when the news was announced you'd think it was the second (third, fourth, whatever) coming of Christ here in the Windy City.

The two major papers here, the Chicago Tribune and The Sun-Times, both used the quote caption "It's Time" on their front page, full picture story, which leads me to believe the rest of the announcement either sucked or was so poorly written for our sound bite loving culture that "It's Time" was all they got. The internets are awash with headlines like "Decision Stuns Political World" and "Business Lament End of an Era", Facebook yesterday had posts from friends ranging the gamut from elation, to sadness, and queries of whether or not now that Daley was stepping down, could they run for mayor (this being from a friend who actually doesn't live in the city anymore, but in a close suburb, and I'd totally vote for him!).

But as I sit back and watch the news filter by and the accolades flow freely, I have to wonder, why the hell is everyone so surprised by this announcement? Taking a step back, lets look at 3 simple things that have happened in the past few years.

1) 8 Years ago his wife, the woman that has stood solidly at his side for 38 years was diagnosed with breast cancer. And just this past year a malignant bone tumor showed up. That's a hell of a lot to deal with, and maybe, just maybe, the man wants to spend some time with his family after 20+ years in office. Hey, stranger things have happened.

2) On a less family friendly note, remember this spectacular failure? After pouring millions into the Olympic bid, Chicago was booted in round one. Round one folks. The banners were barely up before the city was shot down. Not exactly a way you want to be remembered.

3) And finally, on a services note, there was this amazingly disastrous blunder. Nothing gets folks involved faster in politics than fucking with a day-to-day service that almost everyone encounters. Snow removal, garbage pick up, parking - you get the idea. And boy did Richie fuck up the parking system. To the little guy it felt like we traded our best and only cow for a handful of worthless beans. And then, when there was a glimmer of hope that maybe those beans were magic, the bully down the street stole them in the middle of the night and blamed your brother.

Just looking at those 3 things, I'm confused as to what the fuss is all about. He's a man. He had a job and has decided to not do that job anymore. End of story? Unfortunately not in Chicagoland it won't be.

Moving Day!

This moving thing in 158% humidity sucks. That plus the fact that I'm old, fat, and lazy probably doesn't help much.

After a long, stressful, drawn out process I finally got the keys to my new place at around 11 o'clock last night. A wonderful friend who was with me did a power move of about half the stuff in my back two rooms in about 15 minutes and we left the rest for today.

So I set my alarm for my usual work wake up time and by 7:30 I was hauling boxes. By 7:50 I was already sweaty and exhausted. This should be fun.

I've set the pace at about 15 minutes of moving and then sit for 5-10 to regain my breath. I really need to utilize this gym membership I keep paying for. I've got friends scheduled to come move the big stuff around noon and I'd really like to have most of everything else done by then. I even have a friend that offered to come over on his lunch break. Seriously, my friends kick ass.

I've already taken one break to cancel my internet (yay for free highjacked wi-fi to write this!), move my Com-Ed service, and change my address. Now I've used this break to write this. I guess it's back to the grind.

Would you like fries or a clean database with that?

As I mentioned in my last post, big changes are a coming to my little corner of the world, and the crucial folks in my real life have been told, so I can finally break the blog silence (but not the Facebook silence, I'm not ready for that yet!).

After 4 years in my current job, a job that made me some amazing friends, taught me that I love working with databases, and gave my liver a serious workout as of late, after 4 years with this I have finally decided to quit.

But before you break out the party horns and let those gasps of excitement pass your lips I must tell you I also don't have another job lined up. Well, I didn't when I actually put in place the plan to be done with the current gig, I might have a part time one now.

Here's how it all unraveled....

About 2 months ago I sat down behind closed doors to have my 4 year, annual review with my supervisor. Somehow, and I honestly don't know how it all started, instead of going through the rote motions of checking off accomplishments and things to learn and work on, we spent close to 2 hours talking about the fact that I wasn't happy anymore and what we could do about it. It was by far the most liberating, amazing review I've ever had. By the end I had received some really good constructive criticism that I hope will make me a better employee in the future and a plan had been sketched to work me out of the organization.

They would start working on re-writing my job description (as it had drastically changed since I started) and I would step up my job hunt (now no longer needing to hide in the shadows and fake appointments in case of interviews). We figured it would take about 2 months to post, interview, hire and replace me and I hoped I could find something along that same time frame as well. However, just in case this economy totally had it in for me, we worked out a slight extension plan as well.

Let me step back for a minute and tell you about my not so secret love of databases that this job has opened up for me. Turns out I love organizing, maintaining, and producing clean, reliable data and reports. And I have come to master the current fundraising database my organization utilizes in a way that sometimes even scares me. This is something I could see myself doing full time (and that is what I've been applying for), this is something I could see myself really enjoying. Raisers Edge watch out, I will find someone who uses you and come to master you! (Okay, geek aside now, sorry about that).

And while I love my current database, I also loathe it because it is totally out of shape. It needs a major ass-kicking clean up, and I am just the one to do it. See, that's the extension plan we've worked out. If I don't have a job by the time my replacement is here and ready to be set loose on their own, I will transfer over to a full time database clean up project. We expect that to last about 8 weeks so I will have employment (if this plan all goes accordingly) till about mid December. If I do get another job, the plan is to transition the database cleanup to a part time gig (nights/weekends) instead because no matter what, it needs to be done, and not to sound totally egotistical but no one here but me really can do it quickly and efficiently.

So that's my life. Since this has all been announced a possible part time job has come up starting in mid September that I am totally, ridiculously geeked about. It's not a database gig, but it's with a company that I adore and think that I could learn an amazing amount from. But since it's not even remotely settled yet I am keeping that one to myself for now. But if it does come through it will mean that once I've wrapped up all the work here I will still need to supplement my income with a second part time job - know anyone hiring? Need a database cleaned? How about a dog walked? I'm open to most ideas (except watching your kids, sorry, but no one really wants that to happen do they?).

To make this a little less scary when it comes to life and finances, I'm also moving in with someone so my rent will be cut in half which always helps. That in itself is a completely crazy, out of left field, mind twister, but it will have to be saved for another post.

A promise is a promise

So I know that I promised in my last post that I would attempt to update you and help wile away your hours with entertaining, non-ask related musings, so here we go. Actually this is not so much an update as a foreshadowing of an update.

There are some serious things afoot in JJ's World these days and I am bursting at the seems to share them with you. However, until I can actually iron out some details and spread the word in my actual, real life world, it's probably best to keep a lid on all secrets internet style.

With that said, keep on the look out for some possibly startling revelations to start poring out of this little blog I sorta keep up with here.

Cheers.

I help not because I know you, but because someone I know asked me to

People give of themselves for a lot of reasons. You may give of your time, money, or material possessions because you believe in the cause you are supporting. Maybe you give because you simply believe in giving, and where it goes (as long as it falls under a certain wide spectrum of your beliefs) doesn't really matter. For me, I mostly give to things my friends are associated with (and it helps that I pretty much totally believe 100% in what they are working for). I don't have a lot to give so I like to spread it around to those I can personally touch with my donation.

But every once in awhile I find a cause or an event that I'm not tied to by one degree of separation. Awhile ago I donated to this blogger because I was so moved by her post. Didn't know her personally,though I found her blog through an actual real life friend who knows her in actual real life, but still went ahead and dropped my few dollars in the hat.

And so I bring you the following story. If it moves you in any way and you find yourself with an extra $5 or more to share I encourage you to donate it. I don't know this person, probably never will, but I do personally know the man that wrote about it on his own blog and I trust his opinions on the matter (plus his own name was in the donor list, so I know it's worthwhile). You won't get a tax exempt letter. But you will get an awesome warm feeling and a great bit of karma.

Oh and just so you don't start to feel that all I do is ask my few readers out there to open their pocket books, I promise to make an effort to post many non-money related items in the next few weeks before I once again hit you up for my own birthday fundraising campaign to be announced shortly.

I don't know how to repost so that it will link back to where I found it so I'm simply cutting and pasting and hoping this works....(photo didn't copy so here is link to what I think is the original post)


atfrageelay:
Link to help a mama-to-be out is here.
Imagine you are about to lose everything you own. Not to a tornado, flood, or theft, but instead to the steady march of insidious intruders. These home invaders breed quickly and often, can survive up to 18 months when zipped up in an airtight container, feed off of the blood of humans and their pets, and are especially fond of nesting in mattresses and book bindings.

Itchy yet?

Now imagine you’re single, expecting your first child, self-employed, with family living several states away. And you’re living in a building full of these thieves of your every basic comfort, where several of your neighbors are similarly afflicted but it’s unknown whether they have any earthly idea how to properly rid their apartments of these pests. Maybe you can break your lease, and maybe you can’t, but even so it’s doubtful you’ll see your security deposit and first month’s rent any time soon. And you’ll have to take all of your less-infested items – including electronics – and store them somewhere unafflicted in airtight containers for 18 months.

This is life in the city with bedbugs. And it’s happening, right now, to one of our own – Alina Smith. And she needs our help. There have been a lot of hands out asking for help in our online community lately, and times are tough for many right now. But there are enough of us here that a per-person $10 donation (or whatever you can spare) would go a long way toward helping Alina get a security deposit together so she can live somewhere bedbug-free when her baby arrives this October/November, storage space for the few items she’s able to keep (including her professional photography equipment) but will have to store in airtight plastic for 18 months to ensure all the bugs die off, and disposal supplies (plastic mattress covers, plastic bags) so she can get rid of items responsibly without spreading the bedbugs anywhere else. Please help a mama-to-be get her life back and into a safe home.

Thanks. Questions? Comments? Write me at tonitravels at the gee mail.

Here’s a link to contribute. All donations go directly to Alina’s bank account. Please reblog.

Some weirdness to start your weekend

Before I share with you how my Friday morning started let me give you a few background details so the tale can truly be appreciated.

1) I. Hate. Pigeons. Completely, totally, and unrealistically I hate these birds. Everyone knows it. I'm not quiet about it. They are rats with wings and any argument that they are cousins of the dove and I should love them will quickly get you an icy glare of death.

2) Normally I change trains half way through my commute. It's faster but also more of a pain since I give up my guaranteed seat to stand on the smelly, dirty red line. But I do it because riding all the way around the loop on the Brown line seems silly when transferring means another 10 minutes of sleep.

3) Chicago has some cool ass art sometimes. And sometimes it's just weird.

Okay, got it? Here we go.

Today I woke up exceptionally early as I am leaving for a trip home at noon and found myself overcome with giddiness and unable to sleep. I decided that tossing and turning was doing no one any good so I got up, got going, and was on the train at least 20 minutes earlier than usual. This also means that I can stay on my train and read which always excites me. Plus, I'd heard about this new art instillation piece at the south end of the loop and staying on my train means I would get a chance to see it.

So I ride all the way around, check out the big eyeball, wonder at the concept of art and then eventually get off the train at Randolph and Wabash. For those of you that are Chicagoans, or more importantly, Loop workers, you may be familiar with this stop. Like it's neighbor Quincy across the loop it is home to a whole host of pigeons at the base of the stairs. Usually the roost a good span back (unlike Quincy where I think they are actually posted guard on that freaking station) and I can sneak along the wall and avoid them. But today, alas today, I would not be so lucky.

I come ambling off the steps and stop, just out of the way of others tumbling down behind me on their way to their own Friday plans, and light up my customary morning, post train - pre work cigarette. Yes, I have a scheduled, post train - pre work cigarette. What's life without some regularity?

Anyway, as I'm standing there this scene unfolds in front of me. A man, probably late 50's, maybe 60's, wearing somewhat business like attire and carrying a briefcase stops in front of the large writhing mass of birds. He sets down his briefcase and slowly starts to walk into the middle of the flock. At this point I already know he's crazy, and since I don't want to go anywhere near him, I hold back and wait to see what happens. Once in the middle of the mass, he slowly starts to crouch down. What the fuck is he doing? I begin to wonder (my coffee free brain is at this point still working kind of slow). Then, before I can even begin to comprehend he reaches out and grabs one of the birds. Yup. Grabs. A. Fucking. Pigeon. Stands up and calmly walks back to his briefcase, picks it up, and starts to head my direction.

At this point my brain is SCREAMING to get away from this guy. I mean who randomly catches a pigeon? Is he its leader? Is he going to kill it in some weird sacrifice? Is he going to eat it? Be friends with it? Give it to someone as a present or a death threat? WHAT? I start to back up as he heads my way and I duck around the corner hoping to avoid him.

But no. My life can never be that simple can it? A fun tale about a pigeon snatcher wouldn't be nearly enough. Instead the guy turns the same corner I have (where I'm now pressed against the window of a T-Mobile store), still carrying the writhing bird and nearly 3/4ths of the flock are frantically following him. At eye level. Wheeling and diving around him. And now, because I'm stuck there, they are dive bombing all around me.

I believe this is the point where I actually started muttering out loud. And maybe it was more than muttering. Maybe it was more like "OhMyGOD OhMYGOD OHMYGOD!" and maybe I was kind of frantically spinning around trying to wave the birds away from my face. And maybe I kind of looked like a crazy person. And maybe I don't care. Because having a few strangers wonder about my flailing in the midst of my own personal 7th layer of hell reenactment is not too much to be concerned about.

So that was the start to my weekend. Hope yours wasn't nearly as traumatizing.

What to do with you when you come visit

I have struggled since I moved to the windy city on what the hell to do with friends when them came from out of town to come see me. Everyone always just wants to let me decide. "Oh, whatever you normally do is fine" "I want to see what you see every day" "You know this city better than I do"...these are the things I constantly hear from people.

Truthfully? What I normally do is sit around, probably in my pj's and chain smoke while I read and drink too much coffee. Or I watch really, really bad tv through my computer on Hulu. Then, if it's a day that ends in "Y" I go to the bar down the street from my house. And see the same 4 people I see every night. What I normally see is the inside of my book while I ride the train for 45 minutes to and 45 minutes home from work. Sometimes I see weird people preaching at me. Sometimes I see annoying teenagers (though mostly I just hear them). And finally, you knew me before I moved here. Was I especially adventurous then? What makes you think that I've drastically changed, and jumped into a much higher tax bracket, and therefore obviously know all the best clubs, restaurants, awesomest spots ever?

I'm the girl that once I find a sandwich on a menu I order only that for the rest of my life. Seriously, I've never had any other sub at Jimmy John's other than the #6 (which on a side note was also the veggie sub at Big Mikes, now possibly Milios back home and was also the only sub I ever ate there). I hone in on a pattern and rarely do I deviate. Is this great for my social life? No, of course not. Am I trying to change? Yes, but it apparently takes me more time than 4 years. Whatever, I'm working on it.

So when people come to town I often wrestle with what to do with them for the 24-72 hours they are living on my couch and I'm forever soliciting advice from friends who live here (which by the way if you've got any sure fire winners, please, please feel free to leave them in the comments!)

My one standard has been the Signature Room on the 95th. This is usually reserved for folks that come from towns where the highest building they've seen is between the 3-5 story range, unless it's a university building, then maybe 8-10. It's a crazy kind of fun night out with the ridiculous expensive drinks everyone expects to pay for in a metropolitan city and a view to die for. And weirdly, while I have it on standby and while I always know it's there - I haven't actually been in probably 2 years.

So obviously it is time for me to expand my default list. And I think I have just the thing to do it.

This past weekend I went on a brewery tour of Metropolitan Brewery and it was awesome. Located at around 5100 N. Ravenswood, it's a bit misleading as the door is actually on Winona, this little brew tour is a great find for a Saturday afternoon. I've never done a brewery tour so I have nothing to compare it to, but the 3 beers we got to taste were great, Doug and Tracy were personable, engaging, funny and really interesting. The whole thing took about an hour and it cost only $5 a person. It's a great way to support a local enterprise and all in all, it was just really, really fun.

Seriously, I'm doing this with everyone that comes to town. Also directly next door to Metropolitan is Koval Distillery that offers tours for $10. I hope to stop by there before the summer is out and I'll give you a review of how that one goes too.

Surprises

Have you ever had one of those out of left field, totally surprisingly wonderful events happen? I hope so, because I recently had one and let me tell ya-they're great.

It's the kind of event that sneaks up on you that are the best. Don't get me wrong, a happy moment in the middle of a shitty day is great, fantastic in fact, but whenever you remember that great part it will always be linked with the shitty day in some part.

What I'm talking about are the moments that come in the middle of an already good time. Let me break it down for you.

As you know I currently reside in this wonderful metropolis that is the Windy City. But I haven't always lived here. In fact, I'm currently contemplating not living here, but that's a blog for another time. When I moved here I tried to keep in touch with old friends but I pretty much sucked at it. If it weren't for Facebook, I don't think anyone would know what I was up to these past few years. And if it weren't for Facebook, I wouldn't have nearly the amount of "friends" I have today. See FB is famous for dredging up every single person you've ever run into in your life and reconnecting you with them. Sometimes this is good. Sometimes this is creepy. But most of the time, from my experience, it's usually pretty uneventful. Standard FB friends interact like this.

Step One: Old friend/classmate/co-worker finds you and asks to be your friend
Step Two: You accept, mostly to see what the heck they've been up to, and there is possibly a brief "HI! What's up?! What have you been up to?" interaction
Step Three: Conversation dwindles down to almost nothing, maybe a few "liked" updates here and there
Step Four: You forget you are even "friends" with this person

This encompasses most of the typical Facebook interactions. Then, every once in awhile, along comes a breakthrough.

Enter the actual story....

Last week I get a message from one of those random FB friends that I went to high school with. Turns out he's coming to Chicago for the weekend and wants to know if I want to hang out at a local street festival with some of his friends. Since said local festival is in my neighborhood I figure why the heck not, it'd be fun to catch up and an excuse to get out of my routine.

Friday night turns into a bust, which is fine with me because I'm having a pretty good time at my local hang out playing darts and conversing with the regular cast of characters. Not thinking that Saturday will work, I spend the day hanging out and getting ready for fight night*. About 2 hours before I would of begun my trek up to the house of a friend for fights I get a text asking if I want to meet up for the local festival. Judging the time it looks like I can stop by the fest, say hello, and if it's totally weird and/or unfun I can ditch out and make it for fights, so I say sure, text me when you hit the city.

Side Note: Have you ever tried to find someone at a Windy City street festival? Someone you haven't seen in 12 years? It's not fun. Lucky for me I was spotted first and was able to stop the frantic, fruitless search of the crowd of eerily similar looking drunk 30 year-olds.

So we find each other. I meet his friends, all of whose names I promptly forget, and we wander around the street fest. Things are going well, I'm having fun, these people seem nice so I back out of fight plans and stick with the street fest. At some point about half the group decides they want to venture elsewhere, mainly to the fireworks downtown. As this plan holds absolutely no enjoyment for me I step back and let them figure it out. My old school mate and half the group decide to stay so I again decide to stick with the street fest since all in all, this has worked out well for me so far.

Fast forward through boring, tedious, and none of your business details and what ends up happening is I have a really, really great night. Brand new set of people, reconnecting with someone I was totally surprised to be hanging out with, and getting out of my usual routine for 48 hours. It was utterly fantastic. And it completely took me by surprise. And I think that is why 2 days later I'm still a bit smiley about the whole thing.


* Yes I am a fan of UFC fights. We can discuss my disturbing addiction to blood lust later if that's okay.

Escape

So I am sober enough to understand that I am writing this from my phone at 1:30 in the morning, but probably not sober enough to fix spelling errors or care that I'm saying this online for the world to read, so I guess take that as you will.

I have to get out of this windy city. This desire works out well with my vacation plan as I am leaving tomorrow at 10 am for quieter, greener, Wisconsin studded pastures, but still I find myself stuck in the post midnight, hate this city, dear gods I have to get out of here, mind frame.

And since I'm not sure what else I have to say, and writing on my phone makes me feel like i've written way more than actually shows up (and makes me use way more comma's than is ever necessary), I say goodnight world, goodbye Chicago, at least for now.
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Stuck in the cement with my head in the clouds

There is something inherently liberating about waking up one day (or slowly over many days) and realizing there is absolutely nothing holding you to where you are. No job. No house. No partner. Nothing. In reality, if the opportunity presented itself, you could pick up, pack up, and go wherever the hell you wanted to at a moments notice.

After this realization hits you the dreams will inevitably follow. Dreams of amazing jobs in new cities with new local dives to discover and befriend. New apartments to cram everything you can into at the top of creaky sets of new stairs. You begin to dream of selling your stuff to finance the escape plan. Every time you walk into your home you now look at everything you own with the eye of "do I really need that?" You start making invisible piles in your head of Sell, Toss, Keep.

The going away party begins to get planned with months to spare. The Evite title, "Hello 30, Goodbye Chicago!" is already written, you just need to choose the font. Then the faces of the friends you've made start to fill your vision. You like a lot of these people and are pretty damn glad you got a chance to meet them. But, and not to sound mean here folks, let's get real. That's what Facebook, Twitter, and blogs are for. And how great will it be when your new apartment becomes a place they can go on vacation? And, once you've convinced yourself that you can absolutely keep in touch with all your wonderful windy city friends (and quieted the voice that nags sarcastically and dripping with guilt in the back of your head saying "yeah, like you did with your Wisconsin friends? The ones you never talk to anymore?") the dream machine of starting something new once again starts up.

So you sit down in front of your computer and say to the world, "World, here I come, bring me opportunity and excitement!" and nothing happens. Because, while many of the books you read may think this stuff is everyday accessories for most folks, you don't yet have a computer that will respond to your voice or your day dreams and magically find exactly what you need.

But you don't give up. You begin to search. Fingers poised above that QWERTY line, ready to find your new Eden. And then it hits you. If you thought finding a single new job in Chicago was hard, where the hell do you begin when the whole world is a possibility? And even better, it then starts to sink in. As liberating and freeing as realizing that you are beholden to none and the world is open to your exploration is, it is also absolutely and completely immobilizing as well. It will stop you dead in your tracks in it's largeness. It will leave you with your feet stuck in the cement while your head drifts amongst the clouds.

Good to know the important things matter

Budget, smudget. I'm safe and secure in the knowledge that my state legislators are looking out for what really matters in good old Illinois!

Click Here for link to actual webpage

If you live in Illinois and would like to possibly contact your Taylor Swift loving idiots in charge you can call your representative at 1-800-719-3020 today and demand they fix this budget nonsense. Check this link out - just click right here - for more information and great talking points.

Thanks Internet!

Wow. Thanks Pandora for filling me in on those oh-so-complicated Kylie Minogue lyrics. You're so helpful.

Ummm....I don't get it

What in the world have I been writing these days to make the Google ad in my sidebar show this?

Shhhh

Tomorrow, Friday, April 16th, 2010, is Day of Silence. I don't think I ever knowledgeably participated in Day of Silence (DoS) when I was growing up. Not because it wasn't something I believed in, but because I didn't grow up in a house where people were silenced. Actually I grew up thinking for about the first 15 or so years of my life that two people of the opposite sex being married was just the weirdest damn thing I ever saw. I come from a single mom, with a whole crew of lesbian aunts. My best friend's parents were separated and living in homosexual relationships. Get the picture?

Then I started to grow up and by the time I got comfortable enough to speak my mind to the entire world around me (say, 16 or so) I was at an alternative high school that specialized in welcoming all of us that were tormented for one reason or another at our local schools and it's number one rule when you walked in the door was its non-harassment policy. Every day we talked about being marginalized, and "othered". We constantly spoke up for our rights, the rights of our friends, the rights of the neighbor down the street, anyone we felt we could be a voice for.

The next logical step is college I guess where DoS is heavily participated in. Well, I didn't go to college. At least not right away. And by the time I went I was just too damn busy (selfish, ignorant, focused on life outside of school) that I neglected to participate in any school activities, DoS included.

But I still see others around me taking part and it's started to make me think. Last year a girl on the train (or maybe it was a boy, my memory is too foggy to really remember) was wearing some kind of shirt indicating their participation in DoS. As I got off the train to trudge to my downtown office job I smiled at them in an attempt to show my support/solidarity/belief in their beliefs. That shit is hard without words! But I think I got my point across. I hope so at least.

This year a good friend who works with LGBTQ youth has had a few facebook comments about it and I know he is working his ass off this time of year to get everything organized (side shout out to all the organizers out there who work so damn tirelessly to get the people of this world engaged and involved. You do thankless work day in and day out and I just want to make sure you know that I thank you!). Another friend however had a pretty interesting comment up about how she is not participating this year and why. She started it out stating she absolutely meant no disrespect but that this year she was tired of being silent and felt that wasn't they way for her to make her point. In the discussion that ensued (gods love FB for getting us chatting in a way we never could before the Internets) she made the following statement in response to an equally well stated rebuttal to why she should participate(which I really hope she doesn't mind me totally ripping off)

I think it's a powerful and symbolic move for a worthwhile topic, and I imagine
that it'd be fun to get people's attention by not speaking/responding to them.
However, I can think of times that I was literally silent when I heard someone
say things like "well I don't know any [LGBTQA] people", "that's gay", "only
white kids do that.", when someone was called a fag, when folks are talkin bad about
cissies and bulldaggers, the list goes on...and I think it would be FAR more
productive for me to call those folks out/engage them in a conversation. It's
rare that someone knows how I feel because I haven't said so. All due respect,
it's easy to keep being quiet. I think we need to do more talking.

For me, I think that DoS is something that absolutely works on a high school and a college level (which is what it is intended for). But for me? I'm years out of college, working in an establishment staffed with lesbians and generally gay-friendly individuals, so me being silent tomorrow would in no way make the world a better place, it would really just make the day suck for most everyone involved (we're coming up to an event at work and I seem to be the go-to girl for all event related questions). But the issues/problems/ignorance/outright hatred and stupidity that make having a DoS necessary are still, sadly, a large part of this society. So what can I do?

Well, like most folks I am still trying to figure that out day to day. For now, I try and speak up whenever I can when I hear people use words that are offensive. But if we're being honest in this little blog-o-sphere world, I'm much better at standing up when it's friends being idiots and we can have a safe discussion then when it's strangers in the bar/on the street. I'm working on trying to be better at that whole voicing my opinion when strangers say these things to me and if you have any words of wisdom, feel free to send them my way. I also am going to set up my first monthly giving plan to the above mentioned friends organization that works with youth (I really am going to send that voided check, I swear to all the Gods!). It won't be a lot but it will be what I can afford and I think that is still important.

What do you do readers? When faced with ignorance, fear, hatred, belittlement that is either directed at you or, as is so often the case where it's the hardest, simply in the area you are in what do you do to try and make a difference? Do you try? Have you given up?

No matter what you do, for tomorrow I urge you to stand up against harrassment in any way you can. If that means being silent, do it. If that means not being silent and saying something to someone, do it.

A little bit creepy

This is the view from my bathroom stall and it's not the door I entered
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Give Me That Fish

In which I test if sending pics from phone to blog works as well as I hope
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How to Earn Karma

Looking to earn the easist karma you'll ever find? Then I've got a range of options for you!

Check out the following 4 options to help out if you have a bit of extra money and you're looking to spread it around to help stimulate the economy. I've got a range of things that should entertain us all - a dinner, a raffle, a rock show, and a tattoo that are all calling your name.

1) In the Madison, WI area or just want to support a great cause and help someone else go, GSA for Safe Schools is having their annual Celebration of Leadership Dinner on May 8th. I've been to this dinner and it's a lot of fun. Seeing some actual hope out of youth is always energizing and the silent raffle kickes ass. Check out tickets here.

2) So of course if I'm going to talk about donating money I have to plug my own work at some point. We are having a kick ass raffle ourselves with packages hovering around (and many above!) $1,000 in value. From hotel stays to great local theater and food, there is something for everyone here. Tickets start at $15 and go up to $100 - and at the $100 level you get into a super special bonus round where you can win airfare and a stay at an amazing house in California. Check out the page here and if you buy, please, please put in the comments that I recommended you (as always there is a staff competition for sales).

3) Want something totally out of the ordinary when it comes to earning karma through money? Then check out my friends ChipIn page! This is totally not tax deductible but you can have the opportunity to help fund his very first tattoo. You could be a part of history. How cool is that? And all it costs is $1 - of course you are absolutely encouraged and able to spend more (I myself donated the first $5), but all it takes is $1 to be a part of this crazy story if we can get enough folks involved.

4) Want to help support a great band? Come check out The Moves, Friday April 2nd at The Rockbox in Chicago (it's a myspace link, so be patient please).

If I had a $100 Million Dollars (I still wouldn't pay this)

My first twitter update for today read "Attn all creative people. Please strike the name "lindsay" from all future productions, creations, & ideas in general http://tiny.cc/YgSp6". If you wait a moment to click the link (or promise to come back and finish the rest of this rant) I'll tell you what it's all about.

Remember football? I know it's hard, what with college basketball in full stride and baseball leering at us from around the corner, but just a few weeks ago we had the end cap to a crazy football season. In case you are still confused, I'm talking about the Super Bowl. For many of us out there, the Super Bowl is about one thing - the ads. For me this year it was about the game, but that's because I'm a Colts fan, and well that's another story all together. Back to the ads. I honestly didn't watch a lot of them but I do remember this one.



The E-Trade baby had apparently diversified his dating pool. It was funny. Not normally a big fan of babies or baby centered advertising, I'm not too creeped out by the E-Trade baby and usually find them a bit amusing (at least the first time, any ad I see more than about 3 times I'm usually done with). I saw it, I laughed, then I promptly forgot about it and whatever it is they wanted to sell me. And I don't think I can recall seeing it since.

And then today happened. According to Slate.com Lindsay "I have nothing better to do with my time and I'm desperate to be back in the spotlight no matter what" Lohan is suing E-Trade for, wait for it, A $100 MILLION FREAKING DOLLARS because, and I quote, "The claim seems to be based on the belief that, just like Oprah and Madonna, Lindsay Lohan has single-name recognition".

What?! Single-name recognition? You're freaking kidding me. Now, by my blogging about this I guess the devil has won. She is getting attention for it, which in the end is I hope the only thing she expects to get. But come on people, can we just freaking stop for a minute here. I know it's just entertainment bullshit, but don't we have better things to do with our time than sue for this crap? I don't know, maybe stuff like health care and making sure lunatics can't carry handguns around my college campuses and record stores. Homelessness, poverty, job loss, failing hospitals, homophobic, racist, misogynistic....do I need to go on?

This kind of shit exhausts me. Well first it makes me laugh, then it exhausts me. But at some point you just have to get over it and move on. And moving on is especially easy when the very next article is all about what happens if you're driving to your boyfriends house and have your ex-husband steer the car from the passenger seat so you can shave your nether region*. Dumb asses.



* I have a million others words that I could use and am comfortable using in everyday conversation, however in order to stem the rush of spam bots sure to find me I'm going with "nether region" for today.

New and Improved?

Also while you're here - how do you like the new template? I wanted something wider and easier to read. Let me know what you think.

Here comes 30! (in 6 months...)

I am officially within the 6 month window of turning 30 (insert some kind of creepy music here) and can't quite figure out how I feel about that, but since it's within the 6 month mark I feel I can offically start talking about it. Or maybe I can't, but it's my blog, so...I can.

The first 30th birthday I celebrated was my brothers. On a tropical island. In February. How the hell do you top that? Since then, it's been a few each year that have tumbled over the edge into whatever the heck life holds when it starts with 3. Some say it's a big deal. Others barely notice the change. I go back and forth (on a weekly basis probably) whether I want to:

A) Have a crazy big party where I throw down $300-$500 on a bar tab and just invite everyone I've ever met to come have a drink with me.
B) Have a similiar event, though smaller, and with me not spending all that money.
C) Wrap up my life in Illinois and have a "Hello 30, GoodBye Chicago!" party in which I sell everything I own and move somewhere new.

I really can't decide.

I'm looking forward to being 30. There seems to be a manageable air about it that I currently am lacking that sounds pleasent. And I'm looking forward to wherever I celebrate making my friends listen to this (I have a better, longer version at home but this is what I could find on the internet on short notice)




Does any of this really matter yet? No. Will it ever matter? Probably not. Did I need to just post any damn thing to bump down that severly bitter and unhappy post previously at the top of the page? You betcha!

Bitter

I am incredibly bitter right now. The kind of bitter that wells over into mean, snippy, and downright cut throat cruel if given the opportunity. The kind of bitter that seeps into Facebook updates like "Need anything punched? You're in luck, I have a right hook for sale. May not be great, but comes cheap." and "Is already thinking about celebrating the long held art of the happy hour today - anyone up for after work cocktails?" at 9 in the morning. I only partly know where it comes from, and that is a part I have no energy to deal with. So I sit and stew in my bitterness. I try and leak bits of it out through a drink here and a drink there. Through curling up with a book for 2 hours instead of TV or the bar. Through avoiding eye contact and conversation with others around me, because the last thing this bitterness needs is someone who wants to talk about it.

But still it builds. And I know it will burst like a rot filled dam at the most inopportune moment. Like it has every. other. time. I'll fill with gin and lash out, tired of holding all my scathing comments about the world and those around me back from the freedom of speech said out loud. I'll carry around the label of a mean gin drunk for awhile, knowing inside it's got nothing to do with the gin (or the beer, or the whiskey) but not wanting or being able to explain it to anyone.

Or maybe not. Maybe this time will be the time that I find the invisible valve to leak the bitterness out safely. Maybe this will be the rage that is able to find an anti-venom that is quiet and painless. Maybe this time the only ones that know will be the ones that stumble across this rant. Maybe this time.

The Love of a Good Book

I just finished the most wonderful book, The Name of the Wind, by Patrick Rothfuss. I came across the author originally through a twitter post by Neil Gaiman about a fundraiser he was doing...I think...maybe it was a blog post...either way I found the fundraiser, thought it was cool and ended up donating. I tooled around the site a bit and thought I might like to check out his book, but ended up putting that thought on the back burner as I was reading other things and couldn't really afford a new book purchase.

Fast forward to about a week ago when I found myself at the library with a friend. I'd thought I'd look up to see if they had the book and lo and behold they did. In hardcover. And it was huge. I don't have it with me now, but I think it's somewhere in the 600-800 page range. A bit daunted I picked it up anyway and lugged it home. I started it a few days later and couldn't put it down. I loved it. I had forgotten how much I love fantasy stories. Good ones at least. One of my top favorites, the Belgariad series by David Eddings, I've probably read through at least 3-4 times. The exciting and slightly sad part is that The Name of the Wind is just the first of three books for this series (YAY!) but the rest aren't out yet (sad). But true genious takes time. And as Mr. Rothfuss has very nicely explained in a post about a year ago he is simply a man trying to write a good story. And I am not one to ever rush a good story. So, please Mr. Rothfuss, take your time. Please create a wonderful tale. I'll be here to read it whenever it's ready.

Another fun fact about the author is he lives in northern Wisconsin. And that just makes me all warm and tingly inside. I love that his upcoming visits include Waunakee, WI, a place that outside of the friends I know from there, I wasn't sure anyone had ever heard of.

Fast Forward

Dear February 15th,

I know that people may not think you're very special but you are one of my most favorite days of the year. Please hurry up and arrive, I'm not sure how many more V Day ads I can take. I would be forever greatful.

Thank you.
Sincerely,
JJ
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Have you ever heard of....

It's time for a new installment of Welcome to my Office! (Or whatever the heck I've been calling it when I jump in here to write out for you one of the many annoying interactions I deal with from behind my 9 - 5 desk job.)

Side Note: I really should go back and come up with a brand for these installments.

Today's Tale begins with an email.....

Email from Nice Coworker: "Have you ever heard of the organization listed on the side of this badly copied PDF sent to me by one of the lords in charge around here?"

Unsuspecting me opens email and sees a very familiar org name.

Reply to Nice Coworker: "Why yes I have! In fact here is the proposal I wrote in February of 2009 that included a summary of this organization, along with many others along the same lines, and a full proposal on that specific organization that I wrote in October of 2007! Wasn't it great that I thought so far in the future to prepare these and have them rejected out of hand so that when someone else brought them up they'd be ready?! Gee, I must be psychic."

End Scene.

Roadtrip

I am sitting in a car in downtown Chicago, waiting for my friend (and owner of said car) to have an appointment so we can go home after a whirlwind of a day. See I just got back from a 19 hour trip to Wisconsin. Yup 19 hours. We left from downtown at 3 yesterday afternoon and got back downtown at 10 this morning.

We spent 4 hours sleeping, 6 hours driving and 9 hours helping one of my best friends in the world celebrate being on this planet for 30 years. I also got to see and have dinner with my mom and roll around with two of the loveliest dogs I know. It was superb.

So now I am going to drink the rest of my coffee (still warm from Rockford! Go new insulated Thermos cup!) and close my eyes for a moment or two while I wait for my friend to arrive. I hope the rest of my weekend can be just as amazing.
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Tip My Hat

I always have a ton to say, sometimes too much, but often I don't have the energy or feel witty enough to share it with you. That leads to a spotty blog history and for that I apologize to any readers who are still hanging on (and I know the fiction site hasn't been updated either, it's not that I haven't been thinking about it, it's just I haven't had one good blasted idea since I posted the first two).

So today I would like to instead introduce you to another blogger. Her name is Suburban Sweetheart and she is a midwest girl telling tales from a large east coast city which makes her writing hit the mark with me (though I am not east coast, I definitely have felt the overwhelming "This City is Just Too Damn BIG!, I'm taking my ball and going home!" feeling before). I came across her from a real life friend who knows her in real life and said one day "Hey, check out my friends blog, I think you'll like her" And I did.

Feel free to scan through her posts, it might not all line up for you but I guarentee there will be a post (or more!) in there that hits home for you at some point. The catalyst for this sharing today? I came across the video below (which she got from somewhere else) that was great. And I wanted to viral it a bit further. So check out the video. Check out the post it came from. Check her out. And Suburban Sweetheart - if you come across this post, I hope it gives you a warm feedback fuzzy feeling, that yes, people out there are reading and are enjoying. Thanks for all your insights.

Surprise, Surprise

I've started a new blog. I'm not abandoning this one, though by my own visits as of late you'd never know. I just needed a space to let out some creative steam that's been building for awhile.

I talk about being a writer (or maybe I just think it secretly in my head all the time) but in reality I've never really done a damn thing to progress that dream outside my daily random fantasies. And while, don't get me wrong, daily random fantasies are great, they neither pay the rent nor truly satisfy the soul.

I also bitch about my job. A lot. Too much probably. And after a recent conversation with a friend in which it was pointed out to me that if you are not doing anything to get to what you want then you need to stop bitching (I know, seems obvious in that whole hindsight, 20/20 thing, but it gave me pause at the time) I have decided to put some kind of effort into this project.

So this is my attempt to stop bitching. Or at least bitch with validity. I'm linking once to the new site from here but I'm not linking back. See while most of you know me, this is still a somewhat hidden spot from others and I'd like to keep it that way. The other site, where I embarrass the hell out of myself by sharing page long insights into my crazy, well that one I might want to be more free with.

So, if you'd like to hear the random, unfinished fiction ramblings of JJ than follow me over to Windy City Writer