Lousy 3 percent

A few months ago, I think April to be exact, I met a guy. I had heard about this guy from a mutual friend who thought we would hit it off and she really wanted to hook us up. Catch was, he was just getting out of a long term relationship and it was an ugly break up. I briefly interacted with him at a party that our mutual friend was hosting and quickly made clear to all my friends that I was not interested. While he did show up with gin, and was not horribly unattractive, the guy was just in too dark a place for me to even begin to get involved in. Plus, there were a few extra complications that just made the whole situation icky.

Fast forward to about a month later. Early May and we run into each other again at earlier mentioned mutual friends A Capella concert. Apparently by that time all my misgivings had dissipated because I began to eyeball the guy as a possibility. Play the night on high speed and by the end I had made my move. A brief make out session on a street corner, a quick invite with the rules laid out (I wouldn't sleep with him), and we were soon in a cab on the way to my apartment.

What followed was what I could only presume to be a good time had by all. We left with no exchange of info and had an awkward/slightly cute exchange between mutual friend to set up plans again. Within the week we hung out again, again at my place, and again he spent the night (same rules as night #1 - I do have some standards).

The rest is pretty simple and slightly painful so I am making the executive decision not to go into gory details. Basically after date #2 - nothing. A few feeble attempts at email exchange and then bam! off the grid he went. It took me awhile to get him off my mind, wondering what I did wrong, what move I should or should not have made, but eventually he dissipated from my thoughts.

And then out of nowhere he pops up again. But not in any kind of actual form of communication, oh no that would be way, way to simple. No, I randomly got a friend request a few weeks ago through a book site I am a part of called Good Reads. No message, no warning, just a "Hey, So-and-so wants to be your friend!" standard message. Being the fool I am I thought, what the hell, I'll accept it, maybe I can get some good book recommendations off the kid. Turns out, he doesn't even have any freaking books listed. WTF?

So we have sat in this stasis for a few weeks, where I have no idea what the hell he wants or if he even realizes who I am that he has invited to be friends with. Turning 28 this weekend kicked my ass into gear apparently because I decided this was 7th grade BS and I sent him a quick and basic message asking if he had a particular reason for friending me, or was it one of those add all your friends from your email address book kind of things.

And now I wait. I wait to see if he replies. I wait to see if he has anything to say for himself. And as I wait, I find myself in the most unsettling of situations. 97% of me is pretty ticked off. I finally got this guy off my internal radar, and wham he jumps back on with no explanation at all. 97% of me is filled with a fuck you attitude that says unless you've been trapped in a damn coal mine for 3 months I've got nothing to say to you. 97% of me knows I am better than this, knows I kick ass and take names, and has no time for folks with no decency to have a conversation with someone if they aren't interested, but instead just leaves them hanging. But 3% of me, the 3% that lives somewhere down in my big toe, the part that is crushed into my high heeled, muscle cramp causing shoes for work, 3 fucking percent of me knows that if he emailed and said sorry, want to get coffee? I would say "okay". 3 bloody percent.