So I find myself all over the Internet these days, blogging, tweeting, facebooking (is that a word yet?) and while I find it satisfying I also find I am missing out on one of the major attractions to this whole online personality game. The anonymity. Everyone who reads my rambling knows who I am. For the most part this is fine, and let's be frank here folks, there is not a lot of you out there. But there are most definitely rants I have and things I want to shout out into the universe that I could not have any of you know. There are the private thoughts that need to escape or you might explode. The 140 character version of PostSecret. It's what the damn Internet was made for.
But to do this I would have to go and create a whole new set of twitter accounts and neglected blog addresses under an alter ego, and I would have to work at actually keeping it alter. I'm not sure I can remember that many passwords. I'm not sure I can be that creative.
So I guess for now I'll just keep screaming these things inside my head. It's not as fun, but it is sort of working for the time being. And if I do get around to creating another me, I promise I won't tell you about it.
Showing posts with label facebook. Show all posts
Showing posts with label facebook. Show all posts
Friday, August 14, 2009
Friday, November 14, 2008
Boyfriend?
Dictionary.com Unabridged (v1.1) defines "boyfriend" as...
1) a frequent or favorite male companion; beau.
2) a male friend.
3) a male lover.
while supposedly American Heritage Dictionary (though the info was on the same site) defines it as...
1) A favored male companion or sweetheart.
2) A male friend.
Whatever the definition is, I think I may have somehow gotten one. I know, I know, I write this as though I randomly found a $2 lottery ticket, or picked up ringworm, sorry it's just still a little weird.
I am terrible at labeling my interactions with people and usually avoid it at all costs. I don't need to know that you are my "boyfriend" to have sex with you. I just need to know that you are not having sex with lots of other random people. Or if you are, that we both know it and are cool with it. And, on a side note, though I'm not sure it's your business or you even care, since there is no actual sex in this story yet I don't see why all this freaking matters. However, it has been pointed out to me that apparently this living a non-labeled existence makes other people slightly insecure. Whatever. So in order to be a better, more caring person, I have been trying out the term. Ironically though, if you behave like a teenager I then apparently follow suit, because I am lightly using the term with everyone but the actual boy. (insert exasperated sigh here).
Seriously. Is this stuff always this complicated/ridiculous?
But to be fair to the internet world I figured I should at least share a bit of what is going on. Met boy. Like boy. Spending quite a bit of time with boy. Boy seems to like me. In fact, boy tells me this almost all the time. This is good. That is where we are at.
However, as with all things dramalicious, it doesn't even come close to ending there. As this is 2008 the internet has of course infected my social interactions. It started with MySpace. I had a MySpace page a long time ago and abandoned it quickly after discovering the interface sucked. Since then I have become a dedicated Facebook addict. The boy though is still a MySpace user, so I booted back up the old page, updated it, and actually started blogging on it. But since he is the only one I think reading it the posts are pretty much centered around him or things we do. Mostly I do this to amuse him and to share with him things I want to say but can't figure out in actual conversation.
Then his roommate built a fan page for him on FB. So of course, I had to go and become a fan of his. It seemed only fair. On his fan page is a link to his Twitter account. And here is where the downward spiral begins. I am also on Twitter but use it only rarely (though I'm trying to update it more now). So I decided not to follow him publicly and instead type the feed directly in my toolbar so that I can keep up with his not so innermost thoughts without him knowing. Sound dangerous yet? Just wait.
Introduce into the situation a friend of his, we'll call Jane. There is a long, convoluted story about why I think that I don't like Jane and why I think she may be trying to date my new boyfriend (wow it even feels weird to type) but I will keep that for in person story telling time. Lets just say I have a pretty strong gut instinct that this girl is no good.
So the other day I decide to see who is a follower of his Twitter feed and lo and behold there is her mug shot smirking out at me. Obviously the next step is to then go see what she has to say, right? Well even if you think that is not the logical next step, that is where this story takes us. And to make it even more ridiculous, I decide to page back through the history to the night when all these untrusting feelings about her started and begin to try and dissect her updates. Way over analyzing. I know. I still freaking did it. And know I'm stuck with the knowledge in my head. Though to be fair it isn't even actual knowledge. It's fucking Twitter updates.
But in the end all that really matters is I met a boy. We went to the zoo. We are spending Thanksgiving together with friends. I like this boy. This boy likes me. Life is good.
1) a frequent or favorite male companion; beau.
2) a male friend.
3) a male lover.
while supposedly American Heritage Dictionary (though the info was on the same site) defines it as...
1) A favored male companion or sweetheart.
2) A male friend.
Whatever the definition is, I think I may have somehow gotten one. I know, I know, I write this as though I randomly found a $2 lottery ticket, or picked up ringworm, sorry it's just still a little weird.
I am terrible at labeling my interactions with people and usually avoid it at all costs. I don't need to know that you are my "boyfriend" to have sex with you. I just need to know that you are not having sex with lots of other random people. Or if you are, that we both know it and are cool with it. And, on a side note, though I'm not sure it's your business or you even care, since there is no actual sex in this story yet I don't see why all this freaking matters. However, it has been pointed out to me that apparently this living a non-labeled existence makes other people slightly insecure. Whatever. So in order to be a better, more caring person, I have been trying out the term. Ironically though, if you behave like a teenager I then apparently follow suit, because I am lightly using the term with everyone but the actual boy. (insert exasperated sigh here).
Seriously. Is this stuff always this complicated/ridiculous?
But to be fair to the internet world I figured I should at least share a bit of what is going on. Met boy. Like boy. Spending quite a bit of time with boy. Boy seems to like me. In fact, boy tells me this almost all the time. This is good. That is where we are at.
However, as with all things dramalicious, it doesn't even come close to ending there. As this is 2008 the internet has of course infected my social interactions. It started with MySpace. I had a MySpace page a long time ago and abandoned it quickly after discovering the interface sucked. Since then I have become a dedicated Facebook addict. The boy though is still a MySpace user, so I booted back up the old page, updated it, and actually started blogging on it. But since he is the only one I think reading it the posts are pretty much centered around him or things we do. Mostly I do this to amuse him and to share with him things I want to say but can't figure out in actual conversation.
Then his roommate built a fan page for him on FB. So of course, I had to go and become a fan of his. It seemed only fair. On his fan page is a link to his Twitter account. And here is where the downward spiral begins. I am also on Twitter but use it only rarely (though I'm trying to update it more now). So I decided not to follow him publicly and instead type the feed directly in my toolbar so that I can keep up with his not so innermost thoughts without him knowing. Sound dangerous yet? Just wait.
Introduce into the situation a friend of his, we'll call Jane. There is a long, convoluted story about why I think that I don't like Jane and why I think she may be trying to date my new boyfriend (wow it even feels weird to type) but I will keep that for in person story telling time. Lets just say I have a pretty strong gut instinct that this girl is no good.
So the other day I decide to see who is a follower of his Twitter feed and lo and behold there is her mug shot smirking out at me. Obviously the next step is to then go see what she has to say, right? Well even if you think that is not the logical next step, that is where this story takes us. And to make it even more ridiculous, I decide to page back through the history to the night when all these untrusting feelings about her started and begin to try and dissect her updates. Way over analyzing. I know. I still freaking did it. And know I'm stuck with the knowledge in my head. Though to be fair it isn't even actual knowledge. It's fucking Twitter updates.
But in the end all that really matters is I met a boy. We went to the zoo. We are spending Thanksgiving together with friends. I like this boy. This boy likes me. Life is good.
Friday, October 31, 2008
Facebook: From Ghost Ask to De-Friending
I’ve been having this conversation for a while amongst my real life friends and after reading Schmidlap’s post today I figured there wasn’t a better time to finally get it out of my head and into the world.
I joined Facebook sometime in the Spring semester of my senior year of college as a way to keep in touch with the small handful of folks that I had met and had an actual, genuine interest in keeping in touch with. My friend list for the first 6 months probably never got higher than 15 and that was fine by me.
Fast forward to today. It hasn’t grown that much but I am up to 90 “close and personal” Facebook friends. That first group that I joined for? Yeah, barely even talk to them anymore, just a random comment here and there, but as each season passes even that gets less and less. And with this growing group and growing usage amongst a population not originally intended (a year or so back FB changed their rules that you could use any old email to start up an account, previously you had to have a high school or college email) has come the ghost ask.
The ghost ask is when you receive (or send) that friend request out to an old classmate, coworker, guy who rode the same bus as you 20 years ago. It comes with no personalized message, no reminder of who the hell they are. To make a ghost ask complete however is once accepted all conversation ceases. Not a word is said, not a comment made, not a hey how ya doin? Nothing.
Where does this come from? Is it our need to expand our superficial ranking in an imaginary world? Do we think that maybe we might actually want to talk with this person but when confronted with the option realize we have nothing to say? Do we want to show where we are, what we’ve done, accomplishments, hot new tattoos all without having to actually interact or attend some dreadful reunion where these things used to take place? I’ll admit, I’ve done it. I’ve sent out requests because I saw that we had 3…4…7 friends in common and that’s it. I hadn’t thought of this person in 15 years until my handy “People You May Know” sidebar suggested them. Some days I wonder how many of the 90 people listed are actually my friends.
On another Facebook related rant, and the actual reason I began writing this, another phenomenon has recently caught my attention. People are “de-friending” each other over status updates. Yup, that’s right, status updates. It’s the one line statement we update constantly to tell our imaginary online world what we are doing or thinking or throwing things at. Some are more witty than others, but it is a nice easy way to keep your fingers on the pulse of your network. I personally like to post music lyrics every once in awhile and see which of my friends make a comment or finish the line.
It’s also a quick and easy way to find out that many of your ghost ask friends have very, very different views from you. And in these heated and trying times, when lines are being drawn and fences built around political beliefs, we as a nation are standing up and silently de-friending those we don’t agree with. It’s almost comical. I’ve almost done it. It is only the grossly unattractive addiction of seeing what ridiculous thing they could possibly come up with that has kept me from hitting the “x” on our cyber friendship.
The only saving grace is that for the majority of these folks I will never actually interact with them (save for one unfortunate family member).
I joined Facebook sometime in the Spring semester of my senior year of college as a way to keep in touch with the small handful of folks that I had met and had an actual, genuine interest in keeping in touch with. My friend list for the first 6 months probably never got higher than 15 and that was fine by me.
Fast forward to today. It hasn’t grown that much but I am up to 90 “close and personal” Facebook friends. That first group that I joined for? Yeah, barely even talk to them anymore, just a random comment here and there, but as each season passes even that gets less and less. And with this growing group and growing usage amongst a population not originally intended (a year or so back FB changed their rules that you could use any old email to start up an account, previously you had to have a high school or college email) has come the ghost ask.
The ghost ask is when you receive (or send) that friend request out to an old classmate, coworker, guy who rode the same bus as you 20 years ago. It comes with no personalized message, no reminder of who the hell they are. To make a ghost ask complete however is once accepted all conversation ceases. Not a word is said, not a comment made, not a hey how ya doin? Nothing.
Where does this come from? Is it our need to expand our superficial ranking in an imaginary world? Do we think that maybe we might actually want to talk with this person but when confronted with the option realize we have nothing to say? Do we want to show where we are, what we’ve done, accomplishments, hot new tattoos all without having to actually interact or attend some dreadful reunion where these things used to take place? I’ll admit, I’ve done it. I’ve sent out requests because I saw that we had 3…4…7 friends in common and that’s it. I hadn’t thought of this person in 15 years until my handy “People You May Know” sidebar suggested them. Some days I wonder how many of the 90 people listed are actually my friends.
On another Facebook related rant, and the actual reason I began writing this, another phenomenon has recently caught my attention. People are “de-friending” each other over status updates. Yup, that’s right, status updates. It’s the one line statement we update constantly to tell our imaginary online world what we are doing or thinking or throwing things at. Some are more witty than others, but it is a nice easy way to keep your fingers on the pulse of your network. I personally like to post music lyrics every once in awhile and see which of my friends make a comment or finish the line.
It’s also a quick and easy way to find out that many of your ghost ask friends have very, very different views from you. And in these heated and trying times, when lines are being drawn and fences built around political beliefs, we as a nation are standing up and silently de-friending those we don’t agree with. It’s almost comical. I’ve almost done it. It is only the grossly unattractive addiction of seeing what ridiculous thing they could possibly come up with that has kept me from hitting the “x” on our cyber friendship.
The only saving grace is that for the majority of these folks I will never actually interact with them (save for one unfortunate family member).
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