Every once in awhile I amaze myself

Let me set the scene for you. Imagine a long, hectic filled work day capped off with a meeting that ran late so that you couldn't finish any of your work or even check your voicemail before you had to race out the door for a doctor appointment. Then on the way to the train something flies into your eye, around your glasses none the less, and scratches the shit out of your cornea..retina...eyeball...whatever. Got the idea? Good. So I'm at the chiropractor and my good friend Lindsay comes in (who also has an appointment) and I tell her about what happened. I get the kind, compassionate response, especially when I reveal that now I am having trouble seeing out that eye and ward off attempts to go to a doctor (which at 7 pm when our appointments are done means emergency room) convincing her and myself that it's fine, and I'm sure it will heal itself up by morning.

Fast forward to appointments being done and we are at dinner (a regular Tuesday occurrence when we both have chiro) and she is still being super nice and caring about the eye injury. This is the point that I have to now admit "Well, it was kind of my fault" "How can something random flying in your eye be your fault?" she asks. "Well...." and I delve into the full story (which I couldn't tell in the doc's office earlier because I knew I'd get yelled at...

"Every once in awhile when you smoke a bit of ash that is still burning flies off the end of the cigarette. If you've ever seen me jerk my hand when smoking, that's what causes it. It's like a mini ember that flies free. So today while walking to the train I went to take a drag and one of these mini embers came flying off and went directly into my eye." At this point I'm pretty sure her jaw was about table level. "Basically, I think I somehow managed to burn my own eyeball and that's why it's kind of my own fault." And then I burst out laughing. Because how can you not laugh at that? I am so damn talented that I can burn my own eyes while smoking. Of course when it happened it wasn't so funny as I frantically pressed my hand to my eye to freaking extinguish it and tried to desperately not burn my face with the still smoking cigarette. And of course, it hasn't stopped me from continuing to smoke all night, but when I do quit (and I will one day) I will be the poster child for stories of why you shouldn't smoke.