Every once in awhile I amaze myself

Let me set the scene for you. Imagine a long, hectic filled work day capped off with a meeting that ran late so that you couldn't finish any of your work or even check your voicemail before you had to race out the door for a doctor appointment. Then on the way to the train something flies into your eye, around your glasses none the less, and scratches the shit out of your cornea..retina...eyeball...whatever. Got the idea? Good. So I'm at the chiropractor and my good friend Lindsay comes in (who also has an appointment) and I tell her about what happened. I get the kind, compassionate response, especially when I reveal that now I am having trouble seeing out that eye and ward off attempts to go to a doctor (which at 7 pm when our appointments are done means emergency room) convincing her and myself that it's fine, and I'm sure it will heal itself up by morning.

Fast forward to appointments being done and we are at dinner (a regular Tuesday occurrence when we both have chiro) and she is still being super nice and caring about the eye injury. This is the point that I have to now admit "Well, it was kind of my fault" "How can something random flying in your eye be your fault?" she asks. "Well...." and I delve into the full story (which I couldn't tell in the doc's office earlier because I knew I'd get yelled at...

"Every once in awhile when you smoke a bit of ash that is still burning flies off the end of the cigarette. If you've ever seen me jerk my hand when smoking, that's what causes it. It's like a mini ember that flies free. So today while walking to the train I went to take a drag and one of these mini embers came flying off and went directly into my eye." At this point I'm pretty sure her jaw was about table level. "Basically, I think I somehow managed to burn my own eyeball and that's why it's kind of my own fault." And then I burst out laughing. Because how can you not laugh at that? I am so damn talented that I can burn my own eyes while smoking. Of course when it happened it wasn't so funny as I frantically pressed my hand to my eye to freaking extinguish it and tried to desperately not burn my face with the still smoking cigarette. And of course, it hasn't stopped me from continuing to smoke all night, but when I do quit (and I will one day) I will be the poster child for stories of why you shouldn't smoke.

Riddle me this

I love TV. It has completely warped the way we view the world, especially the legal and justice system. I was reminded of this Wednesday night. Apparently from 8:00 - 9:00 it was determined that it would take too long for the FBI to do DNA testing on a victim to figure out who she was so they made the parents listen to a heartbreaking voice recording of some girls last words. However, in just an hour technology had become so advanced that between 9:00 -10:00 a New York CSI agent was able to not just get DNA results while vacationing in Chicago, but got more DNA evidence faxed/shipped/text messaged/magicked over from his office in the big apple to the windy city....and the Chicago cops shared the results with him....while he is on freaking vacation. Love. It.

What do you do when Spring finally arrives?

It was 70 degrees in Chicago when I got off work tonight so I decided to take a little stroll around my neighborhood. I started at Western and Lawrence where I dropped off a prescription around 5:30 at my local Walgreens. Then I struck north on Western to wherever it took me. I stopped at a Citgo where I watched an SUV ram into a light pole while trying to wedge its way out of a space not built for its massiveness. I saw the largest section of land outside O'Hare airport dedicated to one organization - it was a cemetery that ran over seven city blocks long and is 350 acres according to its website. It saddened me because it seemed so empty, just waiting for senseless tragedies to fill its soil. I walked all the way to Peterson and looked around at the world. There was a Target a few blocks east of me but as much as I love a random tar-jey shopping spree I knew I didn't want to carry anything home, so I turned around and started my trek back.

The wind picked up and the dirt from the miles and miles of Western Ave. (it's the longest running street in the city I think) blew into my eyes and mouth. By 5 blocks I felt a distinct layer of grime covering every inch of unclothed skin surface. Still I trekked on. I could of caught a bus south, but that seemed defeatist so I scrunched up my eyelids and carried on. I stopped at a "Lost Cat" poster and snapped a picture with my phone as the wind whipped away my laughter.

I continued south all the way back to my starting point of Walgreens to pick up the prescription I had dropped off over an hour ago. 1.5 miles up and 1.5 miles back. I wandered around the drugstore and was amazed to discover that Walgreens is branching out into the porn industry by outright selling vibrators.

It appeared to be some kind of vibrating ring...when did the family drug store get so sex friendly?

I wrapped up my wandering to get my medication where the lengthy instructions informed me that hallucinations meant "seeing and hearing things that are not really there" in case I was working with a different definition. I was also pleased to read that side effects from this medication may include "Mental depression, mood swings, mistaken feelings of self-importance, mistaken feelings of being mistreated" so basically its a flashback to my teenage years in convenient pill form.

A quick stop in the comic book store to check if my comics were in (only one so I'm waiting), a quick stop in the bookstore to get the next two volumes of 100 Bullets, and a swing through Burger King for dinner and I was on my way home.

Back to my couch by 7:30 with a nicely tired set of legs. I think spring could be good for me if I can keep this up.

7:18 on a Sunday night...

And I am torn between wanting to get out and breathe in the last of a beautiful weekend while getting ice cream or watching Monk, Psych, and then Dexter which have a 66% hot guy line up...

8:33 update - turns out Monk wasn't that interesting and Psych, while new to NBC, was a repeat of a USA show I've already seen so I wandered down to my local grocery store (open till 9 every night) and picked up a ridiculously expensive four pack of Dove bars. Looks like I got to do both my desires tonight!

Turns out my day ain't that bad after all

I was going to post about how crazy ass busy I have been the past two weeks. I was going to moan and whine about how I keep finding myself trapped in my cubicle at 5:30, 6:30, 7:45 (I am normally scheduled to leave at 4:30). There was planned a commentary on how at the bottom of the ladder "salary" just means less pay and more hours. I had a good vent session ready to go. But then I scanned my regular reads and found this from Schmidlap and it all went out the window. Nothing I could even dream of coming up with could compare, suddenly the late nights, the empty train rides, and the aching muscles didn't matter anymore. No day I have lived this week, last week, or in recent memory could be worse. So next time you're feeling bad, give it a read and I guarantee your day will seem filled with sunshine and rainbows. I also guarantee you will wish blogs came with a PO box to send some kind of pick-me-up six pack to.



So instead, I will share with you some highlights of this week and the upcoming days ahead...upcoming, ahead, is that repetitive?

Earlier this week a coworker and I are pretty sure the couple in the elevator with us was about to have sex...while we were still there, and are almost positive that they did have sex in the stairwell after they left us. Yesterday I played rock, paper, scissors with a different co-worker to see who would be responsible for doing follow up calls to secure prizes for our upcoming benefit. I won. I now firmly believe all delegation of work responsibilities should be handled in this manner. Monday my awareness walking friend called me twice on the train to get my opinion on dresses she found for me at the Salvation Army for the upcoming James Bond fundraiser she's hosting. Most of the conversation revolved around the fact that I couldn't actually see the dresses and that no, I didn't know what a Limited size 7 meant. Didn't matter - the one she found (and bought) fits like a glove and is adorable, I may even be able to find a way to wear my favorite velvet Chuckies with it...and if I'm really luck I can incorporate my new fingerless pink gloves with the rhinestoned skull and crossbones pattern. Did you know that according to Google spellcheck (and probably the rest of the world) that "rhinestoned" is not a word?

This weekend (and Monday) is the wrap up of March Madness, and while it's disappointing to have four #1 seeds in the Final Four I am still way more excited than I should be for the last three games. Next weekend I get to deal black jack (as soon as I learn how) to help my friends raise money and one of my closest, dearest friends is coming down from Madison to visit - all around fun times. I have a new comic book series to delve into and it's supposed to be 60 degrees this weekend. All in all as 4:30 approaches and I slow down in my work it looks like it's going to be a good next few days.

Art and promoting good websites.

I added a link in my blog roll that is not exactly a blog so I feel there should be some explanation. In fact, it's not a blog at all. My friend (the guy half of the couple that just got married actually) has become a pretty damn good photographer lately. So good in fact that he's got his prints up in a few businesses in Bend, Or., has been invited to art shows to sell his work, and now has created a website to showcase and sell the pictures.

I have an original of his (well three in one frame) that they sent me for my birthday last year before this really took off the ground and I love it. I'm also helping him craft his bio section on the page, if I can stay awake long enough after work to put real thought into it. If you are into nature photography, or know someone who is check out his work. If nothing else it is a beautiful break to a smoggy Chicago day.