Bitter

I am incredibly bitter right now. The kind of bitter that wells over into mean, snippy, and downright cut throat cruel if given the opportunity. The kind of bitter that seeps into Facebook updates like "Need anything punched? You're in luck, I have a right hook for sale. May not be great, but comes cheap." and "Is already thinking about celebrating the long held art of the happy hour today - anyone up for after work cocktails?" at 9 in the morning. I only partly know where it comes from, and that is a part I have no energy to deal with. So I sit and stew in my bitterness. I try and leak bits of it out through a drink here and a drink there. Through curling up with a book for 2 hours instead of TV or the bar. Through avoiding eye contact and conversation with others around me, because the last thing this bitterness needs is someone who wants to talk about it.

But still it builds. And I know it will burst like a rot filled dam at the most inopportune moment. Like it has every. other. time. I'll fill with gin and lash out, tired of holding all my scathing comments about the world and those around me back from the freedom of speech said out loud. I'll carry around the label of a mean gin drunk for awhile, knowing inside it's got nothing to do with the gin (or the beer, or the whiskey) but not wanting or being able to explain it to anyone.

Or maybe not. Maybe this time will be the time that I find the invisible valve to leak the bitterness out safely. Maybe this will be the rage that is able to find an anti-venom that is quiet and painless. Maybe this time the only ones that know will be the ones that stumble across this rant. Maybe this time.

The Love of a Good Book

I just finished the most wonderful book, The Name of the Wind, by Patrick Rothfuss. I came across the author originally through a twitter post by Neil Gaiman about a fundraiser he was doing...I think...maybe it was a blog post...either way I found the fundraiser, thought it was cool and ended up donating. I tooled around the site a bit and thought I might like to check out his book, but ended up putting that thought on the back burner as I was reading other things and couldn't really afford a new book purchase.

Fast forward to about a week ago when I found myself at the library with a friend. I'd thought I'd look up to see if they had the book and lo and behold they did. In hardcover. And it was huge. I don't have it with me now, but I think it's somewhere in the 600-800 page range. A bit daunted I picked it up anyway and lugged it home. I started it a few days later and couldn't put it down. I loved it. I had forgotten how much I love fantasy stories. Good ones at least. One of my top favorites, the Belgariad series by David Eddings, I've probably read through at least 3-4 times. The exciting and slightly sad part is that The Name of the Wind is just the first of three books for this series (YAY!) but the rest aren't out yet (sad). But true genious takes time. And as Mr. Rothfuss has very nicely explained in a post about a year ago he is simply a man trying to write a good story. And I am not one to ever rush a good story. So, please Mr. Rothfuss, take your time. Please create a wonderful tale. I'll be here to read it whenever it's ready.

Another fun fact about the author is he lives in northern Wisconsin. And that just makes me all warm and tingly inside. I love that his upcoming visits include Waunakee, WI, a place that outside of the friends I know from there, I wasn't sure anyone had ever heard of.

Fast Forward

Dear February 15th,

I know that people may not think you're very special but you are one of my most favorite days of the year. Please hurry up and arrive, I'm not sure how many more V Day ads I can take. I would be forever greatful.

Thank you.
Sincerely,
JJ
Sent via BlackBerry by AT&T

Have you ever heard of....

It's time for a new installment of Welcome to my Office! (Or whatever the heck I've been calling it when I jump in here to write out for you one of the many annoying interactions I deal with from behind my 9 - 5 desk job.)

Side Note: I really should go back and come up with a brand for these installments.

Today's Tale begins with an email.....

Email from Nice Coworker: "Have you ever heard of the organization listed on the side of this badly copied PDF sent to me by one of the lords in charge around here?"

Unsuspecting me opens email and sees a very familiar org name.

Reply to Nice Coworker: "Why yes I have! In fact here is the proposal I wrote in February of 2009 that included a summary of this organization, along with many others along the same lines, and a full proposal on that specific organization that I wrote in October of 2007! Wasn't it great that I thought so far in the future to prepare these and have them rejected out of hand so that when someone else brought them up they'd be ready?! Gee, I must be psychic."

End Scene.