Long winded cult invitation***

So I'm trying to sell some of my stuff on Craigslist once again. I have found that I am notoriously bad at this because A) I never take the time to write good descriptions, B) I rarely add pictures which is key to getting folks to your ad to begin with, and C) most of my stuff is pretty crappy.

But this time it wasn't just something I could shove in a box, or in the back of the closet and forget about so I decided to try once again to get through the magic gates and become a bonified craigslist seller (instead of just they buyer I've been up until now).

See what I'm selling is a day bed. Yup a whole goram* bed. You can see (hopefully)why this would be something that can not just be stepped around day after day. I own this because I originally used it as a bed in my studio and then as a couch in my one bedroom. But recently I have come into the good fortune to get an actual couch (a real live grown up piece of furniture!) so have dissasembled the day bed and leaned it up against the wall. In my bedroom. And it's starting to get really annoying.

So I got my shit together and posted it in the furniture section along with a ridiculously heavy and large wall mirror (most likely best for a mantle, unless you really trust yourself and your wall studs) and 2 DVD storage units. I figured if I was going to post one thing I might as well try and get a few other odds and ends out the door.

16 or so hours after it goes up I get a reply. Yippee, I think, I might actually make some spending cash to make up for Printers Row**. I read through the reply and it seems harmless enough. Woman looking actually for immediate bedding for two (some Church thing, I specifically made sure not to ask about it) and wondered if another bed would fit underneath. I replied I wasn't sure, I had stored boxes under there and so maybe a mattress flat on the floor would work, but I would measure when I got home to make sure. And if she could get it by tomorrow I would knock $25 off the price (I had listed it as negotaible and she had asked).

Her reply is that they are really looking for something to fit a rolling trundle bed under so she is going to pass on the one I have for sale. I could of left it at that. I could of walked away, deleted her emails, and never thought about it again. But (obviously) I didn't. I thought it would be polite to reply, to indicate I had received her turning down of the bed. I wrote...
"Sorry it won't work out, good luck in your search!
Cheers
Gradual Instant's actual name"

That's It. One little sentance. Thought it was a nice, quick wrap up. I moved my brain back to square one and hoped someone else might be able to come and buy this damn thing.

But then it happens. I go back to check my email and see she has replied to my final reply. I open it up, thinking "Hey maybe they changed their minds, maybe they want to wait to see what the measurement is". But no. No, not at all. Instead I get this.

(Names changed in case any one reading this actually knows these people and it freaks me out they might be able to find me.)

Hey Gradual Instant's actual name,
I saw you live in Lincoln Park. My husband and I are South Africans who are part of Newfrontiers, a church family with more than 600 churches worldwide. We are busy planting a church with our leaders Jack and Jill Crazypants into the Lincoln Park area and I was wondering if you would ever be interested in visiting us one Sunday. Its very relaxed at this point. As there are about 30 of us meeting in a home. We’re planning on moving into a building probably early January/February next year and in the meantime are gathering people that are keen to be involved in a new church plant into the Chicago/Lincoln Park area. We meet Sunday afternoons between 3pm and 5pm at this moment in time. No pressure, but just wondered if I could introduce you via email to Jack and Jill and get them to send you some information... Okay, gotta run, we live in Winnetka at the moment but travel into the city to be a part of what they’re doing. Its very exciting... They live on Ashland and Fullerton area. We have three kids under the age of 6 and Jill has two kids (one of which is almost 2 and the other is about 5 months old.
Cheers,

1) I do not live in Lincoln Park. I made this clear I thought in the ad when it said "Location" and I did not put Lincoln Park.
2) WTF?
3) No part of this is appealing to me. Not Lincoln Park. Not church. Not kids under the age of 6. Nothing.
4) Really, WTF? I just wanted to sell some furniture to you, not join your crazy cult!

So I guess the end result is this; if anyone is intereseted I not only have a day bed for sale but I may have an in to a sweet kool aid kicking hang out on Sundays. I'll drop you off at the door for $5.




* I have been watching way too much Firefly
** Printers Row was amazing and hopefully I will get a post up about it before I hit the road for my next adventure, or at least a book list of what I scored. And yes, Neil is hysterically funny and witty in person, but no I did not get to meet him one on one.
*** When I started this post I meant that the actual lead up to the invitation took awhile, but after writing it all I think I may also be long winded, so I guess we have ourselves a double serving title today. Works for me. At least one of us is working overtime.